i find it hard sometimes to think about what ive got.
i guess i always think what could have been and thats not right, i should be looking into the future, but thats hard when your constantly with a man that doesn't wanna move forward. i want him to grow up and provide for us. I can't right now,due to the visa situ, if i could work i would, so this is his oppertunity to step up and it really feels like he's letting me down.
I feel like ive married into this new life that basically has me caged up like a bird. He makes me feel guilty for wanting to go out, for wanting to make friends and find new oppertunitys. But thats the kinda person i am. I cant do anything or get anywhere without him taking me, i dont have any friends cause he wants all of my time, im a very independant woman and im finding it so hard.
i miss my friends, and my family. i think moving out here was a huge thing and he's not making it any easier for me.And im starting to think i made a huge mistake
when i was back home i worked all the time, not just for the money but cause i like to be busy and to afford to have nice things and go nice places, he would rather procrastinate and get drunk with his friends.
i guess i want my independance back and it scares me to think this is what lifes gonna be like for me now
xxx
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
I really hope that you two can sort through these issues, I know the situation is complex on so many levels.. it's no fun at all.
If you ever come back over to the UK we must go for drinks, I used to drop into the Barfly every now and again but never really got the chance to chat.
Stay strong, Beautiful.. and be true to yourself, always. You'll regret it if you don't, you're an amazing lady.
Thank you for your kind words on my last blog. No, not even a neighbour came out to help. Makes me so damn furious.
xo
hope life's treating you good overthere.x