Been boozing on coronas for the past 3 days. I look in the mirror and I realize "shit...I'm still me."
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I have a letter that could get me a job in cartooning..but for some reason I can't take the extra step and actually do it. Self sabotage has plagued me for most of my life and its still with me. Why don't I want to suceed and make life simple? Why do I keep dragging myself in the mud?
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oninochuck:
we have been sewn together too long and sharing our self deprication... we,er, YOU need to stop it.. j00 r0X0rZ as the kids say.. apply yourself and everyone else will see how much you 0wnZ!! and life is never simple regardless of success... but I am gonna stop before I sould like Tony Robbins sans glowing teeth..
kamikazepilotgea:
I love you sweetums
I'm off to LA tomorrow...ooolala how fun 
My brain switches back and forth from stressed out mode to I'm so happy & excited I'm just peed myself mode. I still haven't finished all the art that was asked for....EEEEEEEEEEKK I think I'm having another freak out.
My brain switches back and forth from stressed out mode to I'm so happy & excited I'm just peed myself mode. I still haven't finished all the art that was asked for....EEEEEEEEEEKK I think I'm having another freak out.
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sumgirl:
stunning photograph, v noirish, love it!
kamikazepilotgea:
many thanks for the compliment
Too much to dream last night....
Arghhh Zombie nightmare. Worse than a Fulci movie. They were everwhere. I was the only one in a house full of people trying to board up the windows and making sure these fuckers didn't get in. It was a house full of wiseguys, one bitchy student from my mom's college class, a pregnant women, my entire family, and gatito....
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Arghhh Zombie nightmare. Worse than a Fulci movie. They were everwhere. I was the only one in a house full of people trying to board up the windows and making sure these fuckers didn't get in. It was a house full of wiseguys, one bitchy student from my mom's college class, a pregnant women, my entire family, and gatito....
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oninochuck:
worse than Fulci?! more than eye poping goodness? Zombies in dreams means you will soon be battling the undead!
kamikazepilotgea:
Will soon be battling the undead...they are here now. Quick come over and help me. I got a rubber hammer as big as mine to help us in this ordeal.
"Dominatrix sleeps tonight"...not this former one. No rest for the wicked, shit and I thought I was Jenny pureheart. Oh well. My sleeping pattern is extremely fucked up. I'm always tired, I never get the right amount of sleep, and my undereye circles are more visible than R. Kelly being a pedophile. I just want to sleep sound for twelve hours straight...those where the days...
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h3athrow:
There's an R. Kelly haiku at http://www.fivesevenfive.com/mt/archives/week_2002_06_02.html#000049
kamikazepilotgea:
funny haiku about a horrible situation. I can't believe he only stands to get 15 years in prison for this. That creep should burn. I got the kerosene any one else up for this???
El gato came back and I'm happy and completely complete as I'll ever be. That is not to say that I'm not stressing over LA. I still haven't completed my portfolio and I have no clue of the name of the hotel I'm staying at.
Yesterday my lovely friend Eva took me to the art supply store (I don't drive and might never). In the...
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Yesterday my lovely friend Eva took me to the art supply store (I don't drive and might never). In the...
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kamikazepilotgea:
Yes I have checke out the site. However I don't like the pay per view access he has on it. In a way it pisses me off cause I feel he's only in it for the bucks..but then again he's never had a huge commercial success so he could do whatever the fuck he wants.
squid_vicious:
If your friend really is like a jim thompson character, you definitely should not get involved with her. Of course you know why, right?... You'll end up killing her and going crazy. That's what happens to every narator that gets involved with one of those evil women.
It's probably fine to be friends with her but if you ever find yourself punching her in the stomach so hard that you can feel her spine against your nuckles, then you know you have to stop right there before things really get out of control.
Sincerly,
Lou Ford
It's probably fine to be friends with her but if you ever find yourself punching her in the stomach so hard that you can feel her spine against your nuckles, then you know you have to stop right there before things really get out of control.
Sincerly,
Lou Ford
Woke up in a good mood after horrid nightmares of giants and cults after me. Didn' t think the day would turn out the way it did. Didn't think my kitty would ran away. He's been missing since last night my brother tells me as he pours salt on a slug. Only I wasn't aware of this because I didn't sleep in my bed last...
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marla:
I checked out your art. I like it very much. your style is so defined. mine is always changing. one day when it settles down I can make a consistent comic. I hope your kitty comes back. your brother is a meanie head for killing that slug.
kamikazepilotgea:
well the cat came back starving and meowing for attention. I'm glad you liked my art, yes it is very defined which unfortunately is the reason why I can't get a job drawing anything else but my own thing.
Yey so I'm off to LA in two weeks to hopefully get a job as an animator. I'm scared shitless and nervous. I need to get my ass in gear pronto or else. My boyfriend was a bit pissed off (relationship insecurities in both of our parts), but fortunately he came around last night and today I have one less stress to worry about.
Unemployed and living the starving artist trip...
I selfishly quit my job in retail to catch up on my art. While I was working in hell I felt unmotivated and disgusted with myself for selling my soul. Good reasons to quit, right???
Can't wait until my comicbook is done. Sometimes I wish a motivation fairy would appear and help me finish my work. I slack...
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I selfishly quit my job in retail to catch up on my art. While I was working in hell I felt unmotivated and disgusted with myself for selling my soul. Good reasons to quit, right???
Can't wait until my comicbook is done. Sometimes I wish a motivation fairy would appear and help me finish my work. I slack...
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kamikazepilotgea:
you can check out some of my artwork in here. What can I say...I'm addicted to journaling.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/futter_mein_ego/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/futter_mein_ego/
sinister_____:
i'm reading tropics of capricorn again.
henry miller rules!
henry miller rules!
{:oP Dougal