kalischild

White Boy Dread tips 101.

Find a Jamaican, the older, the better.

Lock him in the cellar with an ounce of Marijuana, and "Peter Tosh's Greatest Hits".

Force him to teach you to speak in Rastafarian patois. Take away the reefer if he gives you any lip.

If he continues to resist, replace Peter Tosh with Creed.

Continue process for 6-8 weeks.

RESULT:

You won't feel like an asshat the next time a Rasta Elder greets you like you're the coolest thing on the planet for being a white boy with dreds.

NEXT WEEK:

Overly Complicated Rastafarian Handshakes.