kalischild

I realized today that I'm in love with a dead girl.

I realized today that one of the most important steps that you can take in the process of healing after a bad breakup ( or even while trying to keep a breakup from going bad) is to realize one simple thing.

The person you initially fell in love with is dead.

Or at least they are so changed as to be a completely different person. They are gone to a world you cannot follow them to.

Trying to re-establish a relationship with someone whom you've broken up with can never be like 'starting over'. Through the process of mutual alienation you have turned your partner into an opponent, a restriction, an enemy. You're trying to date someone you don't like, basically, or at least don't know or understand. And honestly, after the fights, and conflict they probably don't really like you much, either.

The truth is you understand them more now than you ever have.

You're trying to date someone who is gone. Same face, but a different facet, and time's inexorable grindstone has ground your love to dust.

You might not even be able to be friends, so don't pretend you can if you are still fighting. It's just a bad relationship without the sex.

Mourn, but do not rage. You cannot change them back into the person they were, because they are no longer even that person anymore.

And know that it's true; something beautiful has been destroyed, and all you did was try as much as you could to save it. So did they. But the time you were given to be together is gone. You can't hate them for failing the impossible; besides, you couldn't fix it either. You can't make a diamond out of dust.

So, I realized today that I'm in love with a dead girl.

All these months, Orpheus has been laughing at me, just like he laughs at all of us. He laughs because he KNOWS; he was the first to try and the first to fail.

And just look what happened to him.

At a certain point, the dead must be buried.