This time of year always sparks a kind of creative genious in me. But along with the creative genious also comes the deep abstractive depression that lasts for most of the winter season. But aren't the winter months happy? There are holidays, and family and friends and even my birthday... but no, and for some reason, I can never shake it, or find it's source.
Even before November 1st hit me, I felt so inconclusive. I don't feel motivated enough to do this. I submitted my first set in February of 2008, it was crappy, unplanned, and mediocre in quality. I submitted a better set over the next month, but the quality of photography was shite. For a while, I dated a photographer who would constantly practice shooting with me. The camera quality was there, but now the model quality was not. I was lost without my love. Eventually in my favor, things straightened out, but now that I have everything I wanted, I've let every other commitment go lax. So when this free model Hopeful account expires in February, I'm going to let it.
I want to say Thank you to all of my fans, and I also want to thank the people that criticized me, and even the people who hated me. Perhaps in another time long from now I'll revisit this possibility, and please know that I'm not giving this up because I'm doubting myself, or I don't like my body, and I'm certainly not chickening out. But it's been more than 6 months since I last even tried to contemplate shooting a set for S.G., so it's time to step down.
Thank you all - <3 Kait
Even before November 1st hit me, I felt so inconclusive. I don't feel motivated enough to do this. I submitted my first set in February of 2008, it was crappy, unplanned, and mediocre in quality. I submitted a better set over the next month, but the quality of photography was shite. For a while, I dated a photographer who would constantly practice shooting with me. The camera quality was there, but now the model quality was not. I was lost without my love. Eventually in my favor, things straightened out, but now that I have everything I wanted, I've let every other commitment go lax. So when this free model Hopeful account expires in February, I'm going to let it.
I want to say Thank you to all of my fans, and I also want to thank the people that criticized me, and even the people who hated me. Perhaps in another time long from now I'll revisit this possibility, and please know that I'm not giving this up because I'm doubting myself, or I don't like my body, and I'm certainly not chickening out. But it's been more than 6 months since I last even tried to contemplate shooting a set for S.G., so it's time to step down.
Thank you all - <3 Kait
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kaitlyn:
Cause this account is free and only lasts for a year, I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay for this lol
ericmautner:
There again, sorry to see you go. Rare to find the genuine down to earth types in the world of modeling. I guess since you are not the opposite of these qualities, you may not be right for SG. The other "hotties" don't even want to even chat with me. They take you as a friend but want nothing to do with you at all. Oh well, welcome to the world of online friends, ha? Best of wishes to you Kaitlyn. I'm sure you shall find success in whatever you do. xoxo Eric. 