kaiea

I've come to a conclusion. I'm tired, sick and tired. Tired of feeling like shit, tired of being angry. Tired of being sad and tired of being afraid. It's degenerative, and it runs in our family. It tears apart families, friends and relationships without a second thought. My mom is dying, slowly...but still dying. My grandma isn't, but still has cancer. My aunt is still a bitch, and still over controlling. My cousin is still pregnant, and my oldest sister is in jail.

We are hereditary to our issues, as well as our solutions. Our bodies are our canvases, our temples of individuality and creation. But as all things, it falls apart, gets weak, falls down and crumbles into itself.

I have crumbled into myself.

I'm tired of being angry, i'm tired of jumping the gun, i'm tired of this feeling in the back of my head like there's something wrong. I'm tired of knowing the doubts that I have and the mistakes i've made. I'm tired of lying to myself day in and day out saying that it'll get better if I just try harder. It's not better, it hasn't gotten better, it won't get better until I face it and be honest to myself.

So, on Wed i'm going to get myself committed, hopefully for something better in the long run.