how does it feel????
well. im feelin all kinds of strange. im not unhappy really. i mean i am. but not with my life. just with where my life is as apposed to where it should be.
and the hard part for me is that unless i some how come across about five grand byjuly im stuck here. its not the worst possible thing really...
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well. im feelin all kinds of strange. im not unhappy really. i mean i am. but not with my life. just with where my life is as apposed to where it should be.
and the hard part for me is that unless i some how come across about five grand byjuly im stuck here. its not the worst possible thing really...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
zgrat:
i'm glad i live in a big city. living in a small town would dive me nuts
socalsoldier:
hey babe...october isnt that far and its gonna be great 
hang in there babe, you'll leave that terrible place soon *hug*
hang in there babe, you'll leave that terrible place soon *hug* hey hep cats. go add Reisling cause she is my roommate and shes rad.
so its not a phase. its not because im only 19.
im not depressed. but i think one of my ghosts mi ght be.
they are not frightening and they will not hurt me.
im just picking up on all their feelings. i dont think...well i dont know. im not so...
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so its not a phase. its not because im only 19.
im not depressed. but i think one of my ghosts mi ght be.
they are not frightening and they will not hurt me.
im just picking up on all their feelings. i dont think...well i dont know. im not so...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
sarahjane:
Why do you think I hate coming home so much? Theyre all so much fun to be around!! Plus what other 2.5 year old makes cinnamon rolls and bulgogi for us?
thenine:
Empathy is a wierd trait for me. Somedays, for no reason, I know when my friends are super happy (or sad) and I will be too, although I have no idea they are feeling that way. 
Also, it can be hard to tell the difference between feeling nothing at all and feeling way too much of absolutely everything. It kinda comes with the empathy ground though.
Also, it can be hard to tell the difference between feeling nothing at all and feeling way too much of absolutely everything. It kinda comes with the empathy ground though.
torch0316 andthenine are correct.
maybe i am picking up on how the old people who were here felt. the place was shut down i think. not a good thing.
and yah i feel the impending...whatever it is.
and i am young 19 yah yah but it doesnt matter. i could feel this when im 90. no i have always felt like this.
age isnt...
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maybe i am picking up on how the old people who were here felt. the place was shut down i think. not a good thing.
and yah i feel the impending...whatever it is.
and i am young 19 yah yah but it doesnt matter. i could feel this when im 90. no i have always felt like this.
age isnt...
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shawn_:
Cheer up. Things will get better.
sxk:
dude that show was so good I was like the only one rocking out to Boys night out and Millencolin..........spreechless
oh yeah I love San Jose and Im sure you will too but rent is pretty $$$$
[Edited on May 22, 2005 12:49AM]
oh yeah I love San Jose and Im sure you will too but rent is pretty $$$$
[Edited on May 22, 2005 12:49AM]
the world is a strange place.
i dont know how to describe how i see myself or how i see things in general.
its so odd.
i dont even know how i feel about who i am.
like...i know im happy with what im supposed to be and im just not happy because im not there.
i think im supposed to be at a different...
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i dont know how to describe how i see myself or how i see things in general.
its so odd.
i dont even know how i feel about who i am.
like...i know im happy with what im supposed to be and im just not happy because im not there.
i think im supposed to be at a different...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
bonedaddycash:
Old folks home huh? Feel lonely even in a room full of poeple there? Just curious,.. if it is spirits then chances are you would be feeling many of the same things the old folks were feeling there.
For instance, the feeling that you should be dead... sounds like what someone stuck in an old folks home might feel,... like the world woldn't miss them if they were gone,.. so why do they stick around.
Maybe they want to be let out,.. they spent there last years stuck in that place,.. maybe they feel trapped... maybe it's making you feel trapped.
Anyways just trying to help,... Heh, maybe I learned a few things from my Druid friend after all,.. or maybe I am just full of shit,.. who knows.
For instance, the feeling that you should be dead... sounds like what someone stuck in an old folks home might feel,... like the world woldn't miss them if they were gone,.. so why do they stick around.
Maybe they want to be let out,.. they spent there last years stuck in that place,.. maybe they feel trapped... maybe it's making you feel trapped.
Anyways just trying to help,... Heh, maybe I learned a few things from my Druid friend after all,.. or maybe I am just full of shit,.. who knows.
shawn_:
I think that it is just you being young. Things will begin to get clear.
***disclaimer*** THIS ENTRY IS NOT MEANT TO BE NEARLY AS BITCHY AS IT SOUNDS....SORRY TO OFFEND. I APPRECIATE ALL HELP AND SUGGESTIONS GIVEN AND I THINK YOU ARE ALL JUST THE CATS MEOW!!!! THANKS FOR BEING RAD!!!!!!!
must i constantly rewrite everything i ever try to say??
whoever said i wasnt confident??? so what if suicide girls are strong confident and blah dee fuckin blah....
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must i constantly rewrite everything i ever try to say??
whoever said i wasnt confident??? so what if suicide girls are strong confident and blah dee fuckin blah....
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
zgrat:
it's ok to be bummed. i get like that sometimes. i hear san jose is nice. i should visit sometime 
tiger__10:
Yeah your not gonna miss much by skippin the film. I just thought I'd check the darn thing out because I was bored.
So San Jo huh? well it's diffrent from Wa, lots of afternoon traffic, smog, brown hills, lots of cops, sirens, shitty drivers, but that's only some of the bad things. We got cool shit over here too, lots of clubs, bars, coffie shops
theres always somthing going on over here, and if you dont like it you can always go to SF and rock out with your cock out.
So why the thought of moving?
So San Jo huh? well it's diffrent from Wa, lots of afternoon traffic, smog, brown hills, lots of cops, sirens, shitty drivers, but that's only some of the bad things. We got cool shit over here too, lots of clubs, bars, coffie shops
theres always somthing going on over here, and if you dont like it you can always go to SF and rock out with your cock out.
So why the thought of moving?
i think there really may be something wrong. s omething is not right with the universe.
i feel like i am alive but im not supposed to be.
its been one crazy daze since i got back into spokane last nite. i was only home about two hours and it seemed like the world crashed down around me.
maybe it did. i feel like...in beetlejuice...
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i feel like i am alive but im not supposed to be.
its been one crazy daze since i got back into spokane last nite. i was only home about two hours and it seemed like the world crashed down around me.
maybe it did. i feel like...in beetlejuice...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
sarahjane:
SuicideGirls are unique, strong, sexy and confident women.- truer words couldnt be spoken. Whered your confidence go babe? I know its in there *stabs at your chest with a fork* !!!! This town fucking sucks, people fucking suck, but you know what, youre more than that. Youre not this shit hole, youre not the asshats in this dump, youre my fucking rachizzlepants! If it means anything I care about you and Im still here! When our little photographer gets back well go take care of your stuff
socalsoldier:
yes i agree fucking rachizzlepants 
[Edited on May 20, 2005 9:38PM]
[Edited on May 20, 2005 9:38PM]
i think there might just be something terribly wrong inside my head.
you dont just feel like this for sooooooo long. and its not like i can do much. b ut i cant just do nothing. anyway. old habits die hard and its soooo stupid but its not a problem if everything is under control. does that make a lick of sense? im sure it...
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you dont just feel like this for sooooooo long. and its not like i can do much. b ut i cant just do nothing. anyway. old habits die hard and its soooo stupid but its not a problem if everything is under control. does that make a lick of sense? im sure it...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
thenine:
Some times I feel the same way. But I find that life has a way of making me smile again. For me the trouble has always been my point of view.
To cheer you up I've got a gift for you. I just finished writting a poem about you; 'cause when I went home after bowling a couple weeks ago I had a dream with you in it. Which I found a little strange, because we said all of five words to each other. Anyway, you've posted a bit of yourself, so heres a little bit of me,
(for kahlua suicide)
i saw your purple hair
like the sky at twilight,
the blossoming lotus on your chest.
your forward smile made me shy,
slow kicked my feet from under me.
we barely said hello
though our palms touched gently,
left a lingering warmth
until i waved goodbye
as i saw you leave.
after a night spent tongue tied
my head hit the pillow reeling
into kahlua filled dreams.
Hope you like it. I wish I was a better writter. Think of it as a big hug for your mind.
To cheer you up I've got a gift for you. I just finished writting a poem about you; 'cause when I went home after bowling a couple weeks ago I had a dream with you in it. Which I found a little strange, because we said all of five words to each other. Anyway, you've posted a bit of yourself, so heres a little bit of me,
(for kahlua suicide)
i saw your purple hair
like the sky at twilight,
the blossoming lotus on your chest.
your forward smile made me shy,
slow kicked my feet from under me.
we barely said hello
though our palms touched gently,
left a lingering warmth
until i waved goodbye
as i saw you leave.
after a night spent tongue tied
my head hit the pillow reeling
into kahlua filled dreams.
Hope you like it. I wish I was a better writter. Think of it as a big hug for your mind.
miketheevil1:
***sends big hug your way***
Ok...I've gotta know...
Why is suicidegirl katie so damn amazing?? I think that woman just might be one of the best ever.
Katie
Quinne
Nadine
Zui
Flux
Fractal
India
Texas
I love them....I love all the girls. I love the fact that there is no one or almost no one on here who has the same group of favorites as anyone else...just soooooo many amazing...
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Why is suicidegirl katie so damn amazing?? I think that woman just might be one of the best ever.
Katie
Quinne
Nadine
Zui
Flux
Fractal
India
Texas
I love them....I love all the girls. I love the fact that there is no one or almost no one on here who has the same group of favorites as anyone else...just soooooo many amazing...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
papaspank:
me hopes too! yeah picking my five favorite was so hard. I had like elimination rounds...yeah. I'm a geek.
punkrockphoto:
She-looks-good,-she-seems-to-have-fake-hoohoos.
Hey beautifulls.
Can you all do me a favor? Go to the select a girl list and pick sarahjane.or go to her page however is easiest for you. And when you get there go and tell her how awesom she is.
I've done some real stupid shit. I don't mean I have done anyrhing bad or mean. I'm lust an idiot.hahaha...I am sooooo stupid. Seriously...
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Can you all do me a favor? Go to the select a girl list and pick sarahjane.or go to her page however is easiest for you. And when you get there go and tell her how awesom she is.
I've done some real stupid shit. I don't mean I have done anyrhing bad or mean. I'm lust an idiot.hahaha...I am sooooo stupid. Seriously...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
miketheevil1:
I'll leave her one. don't worry we all have our moments like that! I'm guessing she cares about you alot though, so i don't think you have anything to worry about. by the way i forgot to tell her to tell you hi the other night! and that i left you a testimonial too
kr1ssyk1tty:
both u gals rock, cant wait to see ya both when u get back talk to you soon!!!
talk to you soon!!! Oi vay the world of telephone updating is a slow and sad one. But I'd rather do this than not check in at all.
Scary things happen. Sarahjane and I were talking of ghosts and evil spirits abd such. We were getting pretty creeped out and her phone just about did me in cuz it received a text at the worst time.twice actually. It vibrates...
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Scary things happen. Sarahjane and I were talking of ghosts and evil spirits abd such. We were getting pretty creeped out and her phone just about did me in cuz it received a text at the worst time.twice actually. It vibrates...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
aficionado:
Here's a comment: I don't have any tattoos, but it looks as if we have the same crush!
How about those rainbow suspenders? Pretty cool way to hold your pants up, huh?
And how about that local sports team. what a great buncha athletes, wouldn't you say?
How about those rainbow suspenders? Pretty cool way to hold your pants up, huh?
And how about that local sports team. what a great buncha athletes, wouldn't you say?
kr1ssyk1tty:
we miss u girls!!!!! cant wait for u gals to get back!