the world is a strange place.
i dont know how to describe how i see myself or how i see things in general.
its so odd.
i dont even know how i feel about who i am.
like...i know im happy with what im supposed to be and im just not happy because im not there.
i think im supposed to be at a different level in my life but im not there when i should be.
andyah sometimes i think i feel like im alive when i should be six feet under. i dont want to die though. no i think im quite content to stay here and do this. work this out and accomplish what it is im supposed to accomplish.
im just not big on accomplishing things by myself. im a social person and i like to have alot going on around me.
i feel displaced from my own mind.
and i do feel haunted. i think someone miserable doesnt want to leave me alone. perhaps they want to bring me down, well, break away from it and leave sick times behind you spirit i cant bring you what you want.
shoo!!!!!
im not demented i swear.
but i think i get confused. i washed my hair a week ago, it had gone almost a mo nth and a half but i got scared it ws making me sick so i washed it and now i wish i hadnt.
and i think the walls of my house have dementia and im haunted by someone miserable who i cant cheer up and who brings me down.
do you think im insane??
im a happy person entombed in an unhappy shell. im workin on that one though.
and i dont have confidence issues. no. just confusion issues.
did any of that make a lick of sense??
i want to go out and spend time in the salt water, in the dark.
i dont know how to describe how i see myself or how i see things in general.
its so odd.
i dont even know how i feel about who i am.
like...i know im happy with what im supposed to be and im just not happy because im not there.
i think im supposed to be at a different level in my life but im not there when i should be.
andyah sometimes i think i feel like im alive when i should be six feet under. i dont want to die though. no i think im quite content to stay here and do this. work this out and accomplish what it is im supposed to accomplish.
im just not big on accomplishing things by myself. im a social person and i like to have alot going on around me.
i feel displaced from my own mind.
and i do feel haunted. i think someone miserable doesnt want to leave me alone. perhaps they want to bring me down, well, break away from it and leave sick times behind you spirit i cant bring you what you want.
shoo!!!!!
im not demented i swear.
but i think i get confused. i washed my hair a week ago, it had gone almost a mo nth and a half but i got scared it ws making me sick so i washed it and now i wish i hadnt.
and i think the walls of my house have dementia and im haunted by someone miserable who i cant cheer up and who brings me down.
do you think im insane??
im a happy person entombed in an unhappy shell. im workin on that one though.
and i dont have confidence issues. no. just confusion issues.
did any of that make a lick of sense??
i want to go out and spend time in the salt water, in the dark.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
For instance, the feeling that you should be dead... sounds like what someone stuck in an old folks home might feel,... like the world woldn't miss them if they were gone,.. so why do they stick around.
Maybe they want to be let out,.. they spent there last years stuck in that place,.. maybe they feel trapped... maybe it's making you feel trapped.
Anyways just trying to help,... Heh, maybe I learned a few things from my Druid friend after all,.. or maybe I am just full of shit,.. who knows.