i think there might just be something terribly wrong inside my head.
you dont just feel like this for sooooooo long. and its not like i can do much. b ut i cant just do nothing. anyway. old habits die hard and its soooo stupid but its not a problem if everything is under control. does that make a lick of sense? im sure it doesnt but neither does my fuckin mind.
if only one thing would go right.
im super confused about what to do with my life. and i dont mean wht to do i mean how to do it. i know wht to do. i wnat to go to bellingham but i dont know if theres anything worth going there for. im really considering portland.
i guess i dont know.
nobody knows.
i do know i could use a big fuckin hug right now and that would be helpfull.
i know people like to feel sad sometimes.
you know that feeling or lack of feeling you get when you just want to feel something painfull so you know you can feel anything at all. being that fuckin numb.
and it doesnt make anysense. i dont know why i should feel like this. but do you ever feel like you exist when you shouldnt?
strange but that s how i feel.
anyway. i have had nothing b ut bad news today.
and if its true about my tattoo artist leaving the shop im gonna be crushed. i better be able to get ahold of him. no one else is fuckin touching my chest piece or my other shoulder. anyway....thats it for now. send me all your happy vibes.
and help. im moving. anywhere just get me away. and into a shop. i need my tatt apprenticeship bevfore i fuckin flip out.
you dont just feel like this for sooooooo long. and its not like i can do much. b ut i cant just do nothing. anyway. old habits die hard and its soooo stupid but its not a problem if everything is under control. does that make a lick of sense? im sure it doesnt but neither does my fuckin mind.
if only one thing would go right.
im super confused about what to do with my life. and i dont mean wht to do i mean how to do it. i know wht to do. i wnat to go to bellingham but i dont know if theres anything worth going there for. im really considering portland.
i guess i dont know.
nobody knows.
i do know i could use a big fuckin hug right now and that would be helpfull.
i know people like to feel sad sometimes.
you know that feeling or lack of feeling you get when you just want to feel something painfull so you know you can feel anything at all. being that fuckin numb.
and it doesnt make anysense. i dont know why i should feel like this. but do you ever feel like you exist when you shouldnt?
strange but that s how i feel.
anyway. i have had nothing b ut bad news today.
and if its true about my tattoo artist leaving the shop im gonna be crushed. i better be able to get ahold of him. no one else is fuckin touching my chest piece or my other shoulder. anyway....thats it for now. send me all your happy vibes.
and help. im moving. anywhere just get me away. and into a shop. i need my tatt apprenticeship bevfore i fuckin flip out.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
To cheer you up I've got a gift for you. I just finished writting a poem about you; 'cause when I went home after bowling a couple weeks ago I had a dream with you in it. Which I found a little strange, because we said all of five words to each other. Anyway, you've posted a bit of yourself, so heres a little bit of me,
(for kahlua suicide)
i saw your purple hair
like the sky at twilight,
the blossoming lotus on your chest.
your forward smile made me shy,
slow kicked my feet from under me.
we barely said hello
though our palms touched gently,
left a lingering warmth
until i waved goodbye
as i saw you leave.
after a night spent tongue tied
my head hit the pillow reeling
into kahlua filled dreams.
Hope you like it. I wish I was a better writter. Think of it as a big hug for your mind.