kadium

Can't to sleep at night, after getting home from work, without tossing and turning for an hour or more. When I finally pass out I find myself sleeping for longer and longer periods of time, or unable to get up and moving until the very last moment for me to start getting ready to go back into the office.

Yesterday was a day off. I didn't bother getting out of bed other than to switch out DVDs.

Haven't had an appetite in more than a week either. I force myself to eat something every day, but the portions are getting smaller, the relevance is waning and there are moments where the thought of eating anything at all leaves me nauseated.

Uncommunicative. Thinking about smoking again. Aching all over like an old arthritic man. Increasingly impatient with others. Wanting to be left alone and at the same time wishing I had someone to hold onto while I sleep like a child clutching a teddy bear for comfort and warmth. I don't think I even miss the sun anymore.

Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again.