kadium

Today has been an odd mix of 80s Metallica and new wave while working on various side projects at work and thinking about trying my hand at fiction again, eventually. It's been so long since I've written anything I wouldn't even know where to begin, though I have jotted down a few ideas over the last couple of years.

I'm feeling rather alive at the moment, which is loads better than Saturday night, when I hit rock bottom with my recent wave of depression and felt like I wanted to die. I hadn't felt that bad in years.

The hot-cold relationship is in another ice age at the moment, I think, or maybe just a stunned stand-still from a recent bout of honest emotion on my part, which can take people by surprise when it happens. What was said was relatively minor compared to what is (sometimes) felt, but I'm so shut off most of the time I'm told even the small steps can seem like revelations. For now, I'm at ease with the quiet on the other end.

Maybe at some point I'll move beyond the rut I've been digging myself into for so long.

(How uncharacteristically optimistic.)

In lighter fare, I'm almost done with Fallout 3 and have enjoyed it so much I might give Oblivion a whirl, though the fantasy setting might nix that fast since I'm more Guns & Ammo than I am Dungeons & Dragons. (I say that, but I've been playing Final Fantasy XI for years now.) Still need to get deeper into F.E.A.R. 2 as well. It beats watching television.