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k12573n

Somewhere in Oklahoma

Member Since 2010

Followers 285 Following 288

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Thursday Oct 20, 2011

Oct 20, 2011
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I can tell that my brain is getting out of order just by the looks of my house. I desperately need to do laundry and to clean my house.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to drop out of college when I get my grandma's extra vehicle. I can pick up shifts at my aunt's diner and save so I can go somewhere when my lease is up in June. I'm considering moving out to my grandparents' house in the country this summer. It would allow me to completely clear my head and take a break from all of this craziness.

I told you all about going to Occupy OKC. I'm going to be going every weekend, hopefully I can get my granny's van before next weekend and not have to take the bus.

Yep, I'm pretty sure I want to drop out of college. I love my apartment, and it sucks, but I probably won't be able to keep it unless I can start working right away. It's only costing me $150 a month for bills, since my rent has been paid up through January.

I just can't do this white collar not-accomplishing-anything, hoax of an existence. I can't afford to take out loans for college when I don't even have a major, let alone a secure job market for a career I might pursue.

I've gotten really interested in the co-op business model. I would love to get involved with something like that but being in Oklahoma really limits co-opportunities. Oklahoma is pretty stringent with unions, too. Oklahoma sucks!

I'm also considering moving to the City this summer. I'm so up-in-the-air right now but all I know is that I want something different, something better for me. I honestly don't care about amassing wealth or bringing in ungodly amounts of income. I just want to be happy and be learning and be working. I can't wait to get back to work, as weird as that sounds. I can't do the student thing. It didn't work out well in high school, it's not going well in college. I want to be an active student in the field of LIFE. Cheesy, right? I don't care, though! That's why I love it because I can have the cheesiest outlook on life and I'm the only one it affects.

We'll just have to see. After I get a vehicle, I'll drop out and figure out how my financial situation is going to be. Everyone's going to be disappointed in me, solely my mother, but they've all been fed the same propaganda I was growing up: college is the only way to succeed, you will be able to pay back your student loans with the great-paying job that is guaranteed to you right out of college. It's all bullshit! There is no college graduate job market any more, and I don't even have a degree program. I don't fit in this system, so I need to find one that works for me.

Any input would be appreciated, but please don't tell me to "stick with it" or "tough it out." It's not that college is hard. It's not. If it were difficult to graduate college with good grades, there wouldn't be millions of college graduates with a 4.0 and an English, Philosophy, or Business degree. I can't afford going to college full-time. I wouldn't mind taking two or three classes at a time while mainly working but it's next to impossible to find a job that will allow for time to be in class throughout the week.

Eh. I don't know. I know I don't want to be in college, the rest is in limbo. I kind of like not knowing what's going to happen. It's terrifying and exciting, but I know that I'll benefit from whatever will take place from here out.

I'm optimistic about my inevitable struggles, haha.

Miss you guys,

Kirsten
entese:
have fun cleaning the house smile
Oct 20, 2011
voiddrgn:
happy thanksgiving! biggrin
Nov 23, 2011

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