jynastar

its days like that that i feel less like a ambitious writer and more like a guest on jerry springer.
i hate appearing snobby but i really do think that most people are above a certin level of behavior. call it freudian or whatever but normal people dont piss in their own yards or sratch their ass with a butter knife. when i meet these type of people that make me want to puke.
i hung around a member of the bottom rung of society today, it sounds bitter but seriously. the guy was eating jello, let the dog lick the spoon and continued to eat with it.
i did find one thing amusing today when i was battling the huge midwestern wind storm today.
i was outside a mall when this tarp that was part of the canopy over the door got knocked loose and fell onto a little girl about 4 or 5 walking out the door. the kid screamed bloody murder as this blob of a tarp overtook the child. everyone outside couldnt stop laughing. even the parents.
i realized that i seemed bitter and confused in my last entry perhaps due to the feedback that i recieved.
i think that i really am.
first off because i right when i am half asleep.
secondly because my life is going in a talespin right now.
i think its that i let too many things upset me. i am the one that always dives in to protect everyone.
i think for some reason that perhaps i am needed to actually do these things but the more i realize what i do for people they can do their damn selves.
what i think most people mean is that i am still caught up over the whole thing with
.
and i know that i will always have a weak part that will show love. i dont know. i think i just have issues sometimes.
i feel too much.
its much eaiser to just let it all go