jynastar

i feel like i have been living with one hand on the tirgger the last few weeks. too much having fun, not enought dedication to trying to find work. oh well
just read the belated journal of . i love when people post days after the fact. i have to write when stuiff happens otherwise i tend to forget things. or i have this thing with miscontrewing what happened.
its hard to look back and remeber how you felt at the time because everything is different.
broke up with the . ok that sounded bad. i saw this evening. intrestting.
the problem with seeing old freinds around the bonfire pit this evening is this. the old times we talked about were worth remembering. the good and the bad. and we laughed and had a good time for the most part. what really gets to me is that a lot of the old group hasnt grown up and it bothers me.
i mean its not like i am too good for them but they are still stuck in the rut like they were 17 and not adults.
we all kinda have moved apart. i cant really explain it as i dont want to see them anymore. i do still love them. its just that i cant sit around and listen to racist jokes and drink anymore.
i am better than that.
it sounds terrible but thats is how i feel.
so when i look at my freinds, or as they have termed out of jealousy city freinds, the two groups will never get along.
but the "city freinds" are better just more sosphicated.,
and that is what i need right now. people that can have conversation, go to clubs, have a godo time.
i dont see enough of that with the bonfire freinds.
sigh.
i feel alone with the them.
been trying to get in touch with j. hope to find out what is going on with our drummer search.
wish us luck