once again i'm craving junk food hardcore in the middle of the night. i'm starting to wonder if i have a tapeworm or something. 
scared the crap out of me the other night and was like well maybe you are preganant or something. first off that would be a side effect of actually getting laid. sigh. had sex the other night of course but i really dont think its possible to uh get knocked up by a girl to put it delicatley.
i'm way pissed off at both pop up adds and freindster.com at the moment. in the even they ever stop working on the site long enough for me to check the ten personal messages piling up on there, i would invite ya all to be my freindster if ya like. i have quite a thriving community going right now. its kinda funny. what started out as everyone in the scene has exploded to just inviting in anyone that sounded intresting or had a cute pic. i have been going after all the bands listed to join my little army since i always need new projects to work with.
i think i wrote about how i have been feeling under the weather lately. finally got over the damned west nile like flu that i contracted off of
. i know he meant nothing by his kiss of death but still the boy almost killed me with his freindly gesture.
i have been pretty bored the last few weeks. nothing really has happened.
i am one of those people that is always waiting for something big to happen.
its sad to watch the decay of someone that you truly love. ever since
walked out on i have been trapped in the middle of it all. i feel like a jerk just sitting there as she says one ting, then watching his sad whimpering. the other night i went out with p and and went to the big sale at express and then went out to the bar. in typical fashion hardly in the door was looking at boys, as were the rest of us. what i dont understand about her is that she has the balls to actually walk up to random strange and pick them up. there rest of us just sit there and comment to each other as if someone is actually going to make a move.
so ends up sucking face with this guy at the bar and we feel obligated to tell about what his fiancee has been up to that evening. telling him was like watching one of your good freinds being run over by a truck.
he kinda of rocked back and forth a few times as if in an autisic trance before the emotion finally broke in him. a high pitched noise that could easily be confused as a wounded animal screeching filled the air. i thought at that moment the boy was going to go homicidal and kill us or himself, or any random patron walking the permiter of the bar. dear lord.
what kills me after the fact is that sees nothing wrong with her act.
wonderful.
that was a week ago. heres today. to block his pain he has done some pretty strange things. hes been know to cut himself, indulge in the occassional drug use (not for the last three years or so really) stuff like that. the new stragety was postive i supposed but beyond strange. to deal with the loss of his future bride our little booyeah decided he wants to be a foster parent.
hearing that revoltion from someone that cant remember if they ate this morning was a bit unsettling.
i think i repeated myself about 15 times? uh what?
hes never home, no one in their right mind is going to give a nearly 30 year old that is home about three days every few weeks a kid.
i think he has to start coming to the realization that hes not entitled to have a normal life with the career he has.
its terrible to see someone that is so desperate for love reaching out to just about anything to find a sense of belonging.
tried to get out to stl this week. i hate being dependant on other people. my fucking car is about dead. i wanna kick the shit out of it. in fact i did at one point. i have pictures. i fell terrible that i have let folks down to go fetch the shit from the printer even though it was a good cause. sigh
well off to bed.
gnite all.
i know i have been told to stay away from
but just let me tell ya...
sigh.
its ok. i have a feeling that my current sig other is going to fuck our freind megan on wends since they called an ammesty night.
well thats ok.
maybe i can make a playdate of my own that night
scared the crap out of me the other night and was like well maybe you are preganant or something. first off that would be a side effect of actually getting laid. sigh. had sex the other night of course but i really dont think its possible to uh get knocked up by a girl to put it delicatley.
i'm way pissed off at both pop up adds and freindster.com at the moment. in the even they ever stop working on the site long enough for me to check the ten personal messages piling up on there, i would invite ya all to be my freindster if ya like. i have quite a thriving community going right now. its kinda funny. what started out as everyone in the scene has exploded to just inviting in anyone that sounded intresting or had a cute pic. i have been going after all the bands listed to join my little army since i always need new projects to work with.
i think i wrote about how i have been feeling under the weather lately. finally got over the damned west nile like flu that i contracted off of
. i know he meant nothing by his kiss of death but still the boy almost killed me with his freindly gesture.
i have been pretty bored the last few weeks. nothing really has happened.
i am one of those people that is always waiting for something big to happen.
its sad to watch the decay of someone that you truly love. ever since
walked out on i have been trapped in the middle of it all. i feel like a jerk just sitting there as she says one ting, then watching his sad whimpering. the other night i went out with p and and went to the big sale at express and then went out to the bar. in typical fashion hardly in the door was looking at boys, as were the rest of us. what i dont understand about her is that she has the balls to actually walk up to random strange and pick them up. there rest of us just sit there and comment to each other as if someone is actually going to make a move.
so
ends up sucking face with this guy at the bar and we feel obligated to tell about what his fiancee has been up to that evening. telling him was like watching one of your good freinds being run over by a truck.
he kinda of rocked back and forth a few times as if in an autisic trance before the emotion finally broke in him. a high pitched noise that could easily be confused as a wounded animal screeching filled the air. i thought at that moment the boy was going to go homicidal and kill us or himself, or any random patron walking the permiter of the bar. dear lord.
what kills me after the fact is that
sees nothing wrong with her act.
wonderful.
that was a week ago. heres
today. to block his pain he has done some pretty strange things. hes been know to cut himself, indulge in the occassional drug use (not for the last three years or so really) stuff like that. the new stragety was postive i supposed but beyond strange. to deal with the loss of his future bride our little booyeah decided he wants to be a foster parent.
hearing that revoltion from someone that cant remember if they ate this morning was a bit unsettling.
i think i repeated myself about 15 times? uh what?
hes never home, no one in their right mind is going to give a nearly 30 year old that is home about three days every few weeks a kid.
i think he has to start coming to the realization that hes not entitled to have a normal life with the career he has.
its terrible to see someone that is so desperate for love reaching out to just about anything to find a sense of belonging.
tried to get out to stl this week. i hate being dependant on other people. my fucking car is about dead. i wanna kick the shit out of it. in fact i did at one point. i have pictures. i fell terrible that i have let folks down to go fetch the shit from the printer even though it was a good cause. sigh
well off to bed.
gnite all.
i know i have been told to stay away from
but just let me tell ya...
sigh.
its ok. i have a feeling that my current sig other is going to fuck our freind megan on wends since they called an ammesty night.
well thats ok.
maybe i can make a playdate of my own that night