juxtapose

This feels fantastic.
But there is one problem.
She is leaving the country to teach english.
JUST my luck.
The last time I cared about a girl..Sandra, she moved to fukin Nebraska. She told me 3 days later after we hooked up. I think I was part of the reason she left. She wasnt ready to take another step... I guess.
This is much nicer knowing she's leaving ahead of time and that way I have less chance geting another major complex.

I hope this one is not in "limbo"..... that would be painful.
I dont know what the big fukin deal is sometimes.
I guess if someone were to view my life they'd say I was confused or in limbo myself. It's so not like that and it never has been. I've always been willing to work through any chemistry love driven wonderful union regardless of gender. I just wish that for once somebody would show the same.

Hopless romantic.....

I wish I would have gotten the courage sooner to pursue it when I first met her in December. I feel so inadequate with her. She's so great in every way I feel like shes way out of my league. From intelligence, athleticness, to sprituality, man I'm over here hating myself. I know that I am a conscious person indeed, but damn shes such the humanitarian.
I'm doomed.

I'm really trying to be positive.
One thing is for sure is that I definatly have to get my shit together. At least physically because she wants to take me out bike riding and shit. Knowing me and my fat ass huffin and puffin, thats sooooo not attractive.
I can't believe how worried I am about the whole situation. It just goes to show how much I really care. I havent felt like this in a really long time...even longer for a girl.

Her name is Monica..and shes beautiful.

Breathe..

Live by the moment....