justplaindoomed

I feel shame sometimes. I feel that lack of sex since my breakup mid June is making me think irrationally from time to time. (if I'm honest, I joined this site again because of this problem and access to the isn't helping in this respect either). I have access to a friend who I've fooled around with before who is more than willing again. I've told her I'm not ready and I truly believe that. I told her that the last thing I want is to have sex with someone and regret it. In my opinion that is one of the worst feelings out there.

I end up masturbating a lot instead. Healthier? Sure, maybe the lesser of two evils. I wish that I could do something constructive or beneficial to myself instead. If I could just convince myself to do a workout routine or go for a run each time I get an urge I'd be like a rock!

I responded to a CL ad of a woman in town who was looking for someone to help her with designing and building some projects for her home. I haven't met with her yet since I've been out of town but I hope that will be a healthy thing for me. I miss being able to design and build what with my lack of true workspace. Also a female presence in my life wouldn't hurt- physical or not.

Now I need to get this new job that I applied for to get more money, more sanity, less stress, and a feeling for more life available to me and I'll be golden!