I've been very down and out lately thinking about the past. It's been very hard for me and honestly I'm not generally one to talk about it at all so who knows if that's that making it easier or harder. When my mind wanders it kills me a bit and I get close to breaking down into hard tears each time.
Difficult to get over it living in what was our apartment with a good amount of free time on my hands. More details and come to my attention too that will make it harder when we talk but things have to be done. I don't think I want to be over it yet, I'm not going to be ready to 'move on' for a while nor do I want to.
I've never been good at meeting new people or making new friends, though I get told otherwise by those I've social with in controlled environments like the workplace. I put on a front a lot- I don't know if it's a protective layer or just my way of trying to please and appease those around me. I'm getting angry over little things at work and at home. Not people or anything- I don't take things out on people but that just means I take things out on myself for getting into situations.
I'm trying to do other things to get my mind busy, maybe meet some new people. I've started gathering people via CraigsList here in Portland, OR to go on group bike rides. I went on 2 during Pedalpalooza here in June and I really enjoyed them. I like the long riding, the air, the exercise, the feeling of accomplishment. I have considered also doing long (50+ mile) rides by myself but I thought how I liked the idea of being with others to get into and that others might like that opportunity too. Plus that whole "Adam, you need to interact with other humans" thing I keep telling myself. First one is planned for this Sunday- haven't figured out exactly what the route is yet but I'm going to post details by tomorrow night / Wednesday morning.
I hope that little interaction will give me a little something. Also I have an interview tomorrow for another position to change my boring monotony at work so I hope that turns out well.
Difficult to get over it living in what was our apartment with a good amount of free time on my hands. More details and come to my attention too that will make it harder when we talk but things have to be done. I don't think I want to be over it yet, I'm not going to be ready to 'move on' for a while nor do I want to.
I've never been good at meeting new people or making new friends, though I get told otherwise by those I've social with in controlled environments like the workplace. I put on a front a lot- I don't know if it's a protective layer or just my way of trying to please and appease those around me. I'm getting angry over little things at work and at home. Not people or anything- I don't take things out on people but that just means I take things out on myself for getting into situations.
I'm trying to do other things to get my mind busy, maybe meet some new people. I've started gathering people via CraigsList here in Portland, OR to go on group bike rides. I went on 2 during Pedalpalooza here in June and I really enjoyed them. I like the long riding, the air, the exercise, the feeling of accomplishment. I have considered also doing long (50+ mile) rides by myself but I thought how I liked the idea of being with others to get into and that others might like that opportunity too. Plus that whole "Adam, you need to interact with other humans" thing I keep telling myself. First one is planned for this Sunday- haven't figured out exactly what the route is yet but I'm going to post details by tomorrow night / Wednesday morning.
I hope that little interaction will give me a little something. Also I have an interview tomorrow for another position to change my boring monotony at work so I hope that turns out well.
Having reminders makes it difficult.
I hope you can find some things to take your mind off it all xo