i'm going to denver today. i'm going to kansas city on sunday. i need some time to clear my head. my mom sent me an email today saying, "...you know you aren't the only one who has had a "rough few weeks". how do you think this has affected the rest of us?"
i wanted to tell her where to stick it, but instead, i wrote her back and said that i am not saying anything about anyone else's feelings, just my own and what i need to do for myself.
she isn't a person who understands things like that. she got mad at me last week when i took a day off from job hunting and apartment hunting for some "me-time" because i was tired and needed a break. in her world, there is no time for that. she doesn't get me. never has never will.
i don't think she understands how these past few weeks have really taken a toll on me. she doesn't understand the extent of my pain. she doesn't understand that in this small town, there is not one place i go that doesn't remind me of him. there isn't one minute where i can mentally unwind. there isn't one sound one smell or one taste that doesn't bring on a mass of emotions. my mom doesn't really have emotions. she has bitchy and not bitchy...and angry and disapproving...but she doesn't get it.
plus, i am not on the work schedule for a week, so what am i supposed to do? besides, every apartment i apply for costs money, so why not wait on the 2 i have put in for and go from there?
well, i suppose i need to go pack my suitcase. have a great weekend! i will be back on wednesday.
i wanted to tell her where to stick it, but instead, i wrote her back and said that i am not saying anything about anyone else's feelings, just my own and what i need to do for myself.
she isn't a person who understands things like that. she got mad at me last week when i took a day off from job hunting and apartment hunting for some "me-time" because i was tired and needed a break. in her world, there is no time for that. she doesn't get me. never has never will.
i don't think she understands how these past few weeks have really taken a toll on me. she doesn't understand the extent of my pain. she doesn't understand that in this small town, there is not one place i go that doesn't remind me of him. there isn't one minute where i can mentally unwind. there isn't one sound one smell or one taste that doesn't bring on a mass of emotions. my mom doesn't really have emotions. she has bitchy and not bitchy...and angry and disapproving...but she doesn't get it.
plus, i am not on the work schedule for a week, so what am i supposed to do? besides, every apartment i apply for costs money, so why not wait on the 2 i have put in for and go from there?
well, i suppose i need to go pack my suitcase. have a great weekend! i will be back on wednesday.
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gaea:
It makes more sense to clear your head emotionally before looking for new jobs and apartments. A new job is a new start essentially, which means new people which means first impressions all over again and its best to be in a fantastic frame of mind for that, or at least to put one on even if it sucks to the back teeth. Totally get you on the mum level, mine's exactly the same 
nuadventure:
Have a great trip and come back refreshed. We're here for you.