justiceclown

So welcome to my life.. where nothing is as it was.

In the past two weeks, everything that I have come to depond on, and have taken as a big part of my life that will stay stable for at least a little while to keep me sane... has poof! gone away.

My body now has ink embedded into it. My left arm is longer the left arm it once was. I am incredibly happy with the work though, and love it to death.

Over the weekend, a physical switch finally flipped in my body telling me that San Francisco is my real home now... I basked in the warm loving glow of my friends.. and met an incredible person who I hope becomes a major force in my life.

I got into the Clown Conservatory, one of the huge reasons I moved out here was to study there, and it's going to be a lot of work.

I'm, at this time, going to be finishing my degree at New College of California, and that is going to be a whole lot of work.. but now I'm considering not going.. I don't know if it's the right time.. and I applied not because I wanted to go.. but because I felt like other people wanted me to go, and that's not the right reason to do anything.

I feel so young, alone and volnerable right now... I just want someone to hold onto.. but everything's swirling around me right now.. I feel like I can't breathe..

...edit..

Now a few hours later, some deep breaths and a few emails and calls to smash and I feel better. She had awesome news about her disability and her being sooooo happy made me happy long enough for all the swirling to slow down long enough for me to get on balance again.