justiceclown

So I "wake up" (havent gotten more than five hours sleep in the past few nights) to fog today. It reminds me of home. Though I don't get much fog in the mission, it's still something of San Francisco kinda.. All I can think is that I've been here too long. I'm itching to get back. I was supposed to be back for new years, and now I wont be back for another week or so, even though this is my last day in Michigan before I leave.

Not that I don't love Michigan.. well I don't, but the people I do. I just feel like being gone from my San Francisco adventure (because it is still that.. it will feel like that until I have a job, I suspect, then I know I'm staying and can really call the city home.) for too long. This is an interruption. Its eating into the time I have left, and that time is very limited based on how much money I have.

Also, while I've been home I've fallen into some old, very bad habits that I was so happy I had escaped whilst in SF. I don't like who I am when I'm here with my parents where its all comfortable and safe. I can just sit here balled up and not have to aknowledge the outside world, and that is not good. I'm also irritable beyond all belief, and just plain all around not who I want to be, or who I think I am. I can't really explain it except to say that maybe while here I'm soo far within my comfort zones... I'm not really sure that's it either. I just need to get out of here, get back home.

I think it's time for a new profile pic. I was really proud of that one when I first drew it.. but now I'm starting to get really really annoted with all the flaws and all that in it. It's part of the role of an artist to be incredibly critical of their own work I think, and as long as it doesnt lead to problems, I think that's a good thing. Keeps you working on improvement and exploration. I think I'll draw a new self portrait every week or couple of weeks, and eventually I'll have this digital painting stuff more under control. I want to be able to paint like the people on Concept Art and the only way to get there is to practice my arse off.

So today is my last day in Michigan. So much packing and that kind of thing left to do. I'm going to see Dot and Lulu tonight, which is cool. I thought I had emailed them closer to when I first got in, but it turns out I hadnt once I looked into it. I also have a television to give to Mr March. And an arcade to disassemble (all that makes me think of is "no! no disassemble Johnny Five!") which I was hoping Jello Joe would have a home for, but I just don't think it is possible to move. Too heavy. I'm sad to see it go. I built it... crooked.. but I built it. Oh, and for you people wondering what I'm talking about, its the Super Nintendo arcade I built. An arcade case designed around a Super Nintendo system.

I'm going to take apart my computer now. So this is the last you'll hear from me here for a week or so.. I know, I know.. try to get by without.