Finally finished this semester and I am excited. I did well, as opposed to my past college history. I always let girls get in the way of succeeding. They want to fight or be angry and I always let it get to me. The girl I am dating now would be doing the same, but I am just too shut off right now to really care. Is that bad? I am 24 and trying to get through this part of my life, but I also have a girlfriend. I am not really letting her into my life in the sense that I am not caring if things are bad between us. I keep saying to myself that the only thing that matters is that I get through it, even if it is only me.
I have gone through so many shitty relationships, and this one is not much better, but at least I am succeeding personally.
I don't know how to tell her it isn't working, because I really love her and I love a lot of the things about us, but I know that we will never last, and I know that soon we will end up breaking up anyway. Maybe not even soon. I just know I won't be with her forever. So do I break up with her or do I let it go until it is unbearable for one of us?
I wish I didn't have so many things I was interested in. I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life and I know I would be good at a lot of them, but I just can't pick what I want to do. The school thing is alright for now, but it is more of something to do while something else is forming instead of a route to get where I want to go. How do you focus your energy on one thing? I see so many people accelling at certain things. Graphic design, music, web design, etc. etc. I want to do it all, but there isn't enough time to be the best at all of them.
5 year high school reunion is coming up in a week. We'll see how that goes.
I have gone through so many shitty relationships, and this one is not much better, but at least I am succeeding personally.
I don't know how to tell her it isn't working, because I really love her and I love a lot of the things about us, but I know that we will never last, and I know that soon we will end up breaking up anyway. Maybe not even soon. I just know I won't be with her forever. So do I break up with her or do I let it go until it is unbearable for one of us?
I wish I didn't have so many things I was interested in. I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life and I know I would be good at a lot of them, but I just can't pick what I want to do. The school thing is alright for now, but it is more of something to do while something else is forming instead of a route to get where I want to go. How do you focus your energy on one thing? I see so many people accelling at certain things. Graphic design, music, web design, etc. etc. I want to do it all, but there isn't enough time to be the best at all of them.
5 year high school reunion is coming up in a week. We'll see how that goes.
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You know, looking at what you've written here made me really remember 24 years old, and how hard it is to FOCUS and to TELL SOUL TRUTHS.
OK: If you just want to Fuck and find that Emotional Intimacy scares you (when it gets around the third fifth or seventh month you always somehow know they aint gonna last.).. well thats soooo common. Dude, you are male. Genetically programmed and armed w testosterone which tells you to get with all the lovely fertile females to Spread That Seed. And we are Female, programmed to Plant and Keep and Hold and Care. Genetics AHHRG!
Its beynd morality to control these drives, sadly - thus the number of christian and catholic -and hindu and muslum too- married men sneaking into strip clubs and whorehouses riiight abooout....NOW. Telling their devoted wife "Dont wait up. Hard day at the office. Out with the Boys." While they stopoff at the local RestStop for Roadside Relief, or trick at the local No-Tell Motel. Yep, OUR DADS, Yo.
Well. Its the way of the world so.. stay Romantic, and Get Real asap with people you care about... You dont have to beat yer self up about being a human young male, You could learn how to be very very picky so you will make less shallow choices about when you get tired of or choose new heartmates... We are ALL shallow as we learn how to love & do commitment.
You know: it comes in time. It all comes. We usually meet A ONE (well, and perhaaaaaps even THE ONE) a little later nowadays... our great grandparents married and reproduced at 16, 18, 21! 5 kids by 25, yeow!
Good luck in love, and thanks for the praise... I hope this is useful word from an older stranger far away.
Hah...you like Coheed and Cambria too...all my friends make fun of me for liking them...clearly, I don't care.