jupitersunrise

so check this out
nate and i live an hour from each other, almost exactly
since last thursday night, we have seen each other every day!
and will see each other every day until at least friday!
crikey.
i just thought about that earlier.
it's pretty amazing to me, considering the shit i've gone through in previous "relationships" and how it's been like pulling teeth
he is fucking amazing
it's so funny how i can pretty much watch the layers of a relationship unravel as they are being built, or stages, if you will... please allow that to make sense, because it so does to me
we came dangerously close to the L word today
i fear that moment, because it means admitting that he can hurt me more than anyone ever has
but in the same breath, i can tell you that i'm pretty sure he's going to protect me from any pain he can
he has just as much a chance of hurting me as i do of hurting him

yesterday was my birthday
he was the first person to wish me a happy pre-birthday
and first person in real life to say it out loud
and the last person to say it at all
he came to see me last night just to be with me another hour on my birthday
i'm pretty sure he's a keepah

*sigh*

in other news, because i won't allow one person to consume my whole life...
i am heavily weighing the option to transfer schools and basically change my entire life's current course.
there are two photography schools in southern NH that i'm looking into. which means uprooting everything i know here in maine and going back to my home state, but starting fresh in another brand new place. i'm not afraid of it anymore because i did it once, and i can surely as hell do it again.
but the process is just going to suck - new school, new place to live, new city, new friends, missing everything i know
life is so weird, but i'm glad i am figuring out more of what i want to do! yay for that

and yay for awesome people!