junecleavage

Bad Parents:

We give our kids everything and ask for nothing in return. Is it a shock that they're clueless and entitled? How a generation of well-intentioned Philadelphians has screwed up its children
By Tom McGrath

"....Contrast that with last March's highly publicized Haddonfield party case. You may be familiar with the details: A group of high-school kids at a party ransacked a house, urinating on the furniture, ejaculating on some stuffed animals, and, my personal favorite, defecating in the family's grand piano, a move that, I must say, is so creative and over-the-top in its depravity that the defecator is clearly headed either for prison or the corner office at Exxon Mobil. Anyway, as vile as the kids behavior was, what was truly shocking was their parents' response. Ground the kids for life? Doesn't look that way. Instead, they lawyered up, and thus far, most of the juvenile offenders have gotten off with slaps on the wrist, probation and paying about $75 each to cover the damages. (The insurance company picked up the rest of the $18,000 in reparation.)
Perhaps it was anxiety that drove the parents' behavior, a fear that any blemish on their children's resumes would destroy their chances at getting into an elite college. Then again, maybe it was just another example of a generation's valueless, enabling parenting style: Daddy's not sure taking a dump in the piano was a good choice, champ. Fortunately, Daddy's attorney thinks we can bury these judgmental cretins in so much paper their eyes will bleed. Now give Daddy a hug...."

I have held off for some time in commenting on the above. Being as this is in reference to my hometown and my feelings about said hometown are not exactly a secret, I just felt that my little editorial tidbits may be (get this) overkill.
However, upon reading this excerpt from our most recent Philadelphia Magazine, I was struck by just how well the author of the piece summed up exactly what I might have said about it. Haddonfield wants to be all of the imagery it promotes but it never quite gets the integrity to pull it off. It allows the beauty and history of a town I wish I could be proud to have been raised in to get all tangled up in superficiality, social status, wealth, superiority and pomposity. It's a ridiculous paradigm when you look closely at the inner workings behind the scenes. When I was in high school, I can recall countless scenarios in which the cliquish clans I ran around with would chastise and berate the "freaks" who smoked on the corner before school or dressed differently or listened to music that wasn't top 40 or basically, had an individual, independent thought without following the standardized sheep mentality of the rich and indifferent. Some of this self-indulgent and deeply ingrained behavior was far more sinister though. There is one girl whose name (to this date I imagine, even though this was well over 20 years ago) cannot be uttered without everyone recalling the gazebo at "that party" where she was subjected to a horrible and degrading gang-bang type situation. Following this, she was the one who was condemned and disparaged not the group of dudes who took advantage of a young, naive drunk girl. In fact, they were all mighty proud of it. Add to that, I am ashamed to admit that many of them were close friends of mine. This poor girl's life from that point was forever altered. And somehow, she was the one who bore the brunt of the judgment, harassment and persecution.
I have made peace with all of this past history...don't get me wrong. I guess I am just dismayed to discover that so many years later these kids just don't even seem to grasp how lucky they are to have all that has been lavished upon them. The kids in this town are given EVERYTHING. There are kids here in the city who cannot even enter a classroom without fearing for their safety as well as the teachers who have been hired to guide them but must instead prepare for battle and combat every morning in the depths of the waning Philly public school system. Then you have these shitbags in Haddonfield who feel entitled to their deviant and disgusting antics solely because Daddy was "one of the boys" himself and you know, well, "boys will be boys." Not only do they have complete and utter disregard for anyone or anything outside of themselves; they'll go so far as to mock and ridicule those who want simply to be uninvolved in the daily dramas of small town small minded small people.
I think the idea that money can buy anything is a crock.
I lived there.
I was immersed in it for many years.
I'll tell you what it couldn't buy for any of the countless jackasses I contended with. A personality, compassion, empathy, integrity, intelligence, character or individuality.
As a matter of fact, the latter is most definitely a detriment.
No independent thinkers allowed.
Conformity or bust.
I have referred to Haddonfield as "The Blue Blood Deliverance" for the majority of my life because everyone marries everyone else and they all just keep breeding. I used to joke that we were all probably related. It's not really so funny anymore. It most likely is the exact explanation for such deviant behavior.
What else can you expect from anomalous inbreeds?

...Cue "Dueling Banjos" and FADE to CUT...