junecleavage

It has been a hell of a week man. I feel like I say that at the end of nearly every week anymore. My grandmother's birthday was on Monday and the phone call with her went...eh...not well. Oh, and I never even told the story about the high school mother fuckers who showed up banging on my front door at 11 pm Friday night looking for my 14-year-old daughter (not to mention all the things I know about these particular thugs-thank you daughter with no filter). I don't even know if I have the energy to tell that whole tale, but suffice it to say that I sort of lost my shit before regaining my composure and handling the situation with civility and rational (neither of which happen to be strong attributes of mine). I was told by neighbors that I was "awesome" so it would appear, that while loud and potentially in danger of over using the phrase "you little fuckers" I was also effective. Then, yesterday, I lost my wedding band and engagement ring which, after a day of heart wrenching searching (and my poor husband taking apart all the sinks) were eventually found but I was amazed at how sad and lost I felt without them. And those are only some of the fun filled activities I have juggled of late. I am exhausted by life some days. And I don't mean that in a "oh poor poor pitiful me" or defeatist way. I mean some days I am blown away by how much we endure without serious and damaging breakage. I find I have learned to manage my emotions and I wasn't particularly good at that in my younger days. For the most part I suppressed everything and then had these quarterly nervous breakdowns where I just lost my shit in complete solitude. Or I would just drink it away. I don't do that anymore. I face it all head on and I pull it apart and analyze it and find a way to put it back together again. Without breaking. I don't feel that fragility. The adrenalin rush of the strength we can find within ourselves, no matter how goddamn indescribable and overwhelming the pain may be, is a serious mind fuck. I won't be broken. I still have this thing about crying though. It makes me feel so weak. What the fuck is that all about anyway?
So, in an attempt to unwind upon completion of another rousing Battle of the Denver Duo Dance Team with the girl kid, I was browsing through all these great pictures my mom has of my family from a variety of years somewhat long ago...ones I don't have copies of coz' she's greedy like that. So, I snatched him (thank you internet) and I am posting them here just because. I am random like that.

The End until the next time.
See you in the future.