Okay, so clearly I have been delving into some old trunks (literally) of the past. From the same time period as the one I posted recently I shall share this piece that jumped out at me. But first...the Prologue (and I will try to make this brief as I do have the tendency to go on and on):
In the early 90's I moved to California for the first really extended period of time...in an effort to seriously focus on my dream of singing and songwriting for real and getting paid for it. Immediately before my departure this poor sap from my hometown decided he was in love with me and pursued me relentlessly. He was nothing I was. Nothing. Our town reeked of old money and old judgment and his family was at the helm of that. I was sort of a black sheep in that tiny little historic town if you can believe it. So...reel me in here would ya?! Long story short remember?! Okay, so he convinces me to move back to that godforsaken town and marry him. And after a few years of engagement and societal climbing and finally marriage, I ran away. Indisputably. I went back to which he had yanked me, my deepest vice, Los Angeles...for what was supposed to be a short internship at MCA and I never came home. I merged into this bohemian circle of friends whilst living on the Venice Canals...kindred spirits, poetic, philosophical, esoteric, intelligent, artistic, literary men and women who I previously did not believe existed. The end result? I broke his heart and I spent a lot years carrying the guilt from that. BUT...(duh duh duh)...below is the journal entry from that time and while seemingly a schizophrenic rant with myself (as I suppose is much of my writing) it started out in his voice and then me arguing with him to me arguing with myself to just me trying to explain to everyone (including my parents) in that town who I left in the dust, why I consistently felt the need to run from them all...I felt so lost and misunderstood in that staunch big boys club WASP hell hole...and yes...hell is all relative. Sooooooooooooo...all of that being said, seeing this passage flooded me with memories (DUH, right)? and thusly I share:
In the early 90's I moved to California for the first really extended period of time...in an effort to seriously focus on my dream of singing and songwriting for real and getting paid for it. Immediately before my departure this poor sap from my hometown decided he was in love with me and pursued me relentlessly. He was nothing I was. Nothing. Our town reeked of old money and old judgment and his family was at the helm of that. I was sort of a black sheep in that tiny little historic town if you can believe it. So...reel me in here would ya?! Long story short remember?! Okay, so he convinces me to move back to that godforsaken town and marry him. And after a few years of engagement and societal climbing and finally marriage, I ran away. Indisputably. I went back to which he had yanked me, my deepest vice, Los Angeles...for what was supposed to be a short internship at MCA and I never came home. I merged into this bohemian circle of friends whilst living on the Venice Canals...kindred spirits, poetic, philosophical, esoteric, intelligent, artistic, literary men and women who I previously did not believe existed. The end result? I broke his heart and I spent a lot years carrying the guilt from that. BUT...(duh duh duh)...below is the journal entry from that time and while seemingly a schizophrenic rant with myself (as I suppose is much of my writing) it started out in his voice and then me arguing with him to me arguing with myself to just me trying to explain to everyone (including my parents) in that town who I left in the dust, why I consistently felt the need to run from them all...I felt so lost and misunderstood in that staunch big boys club WASP hell hole...and yes...hell is all relative. Sooooooooooooo...all of that being said, seeing this passage flooded me with memories (DUH, right)? and thusly I share:
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stcyr:
Aye, understood, and if your life's lessons can be learned (and heeded) by her, it's a great thing indeed. Best of luck there!
texaspsych:
you have to ask to join. I think you can only be a daughter of.