junecarter

so. basically im writing this here because i have no where else to vent.
i honestly hate myself sometimes.
tonight i am not going to sleep because i am going to be worrying about dumb drama that i create in my life for no reason.

here is the story. and its a long one.

basically. i had a best friend, who lived about 5 blocks from me. we ended up not talking, and hating each other. no big deal, i moved on.

there is this other girl, who i used to be semi friends with, and we endedup getting into this huge internet/myspace drama over some loser guy. we wrote this huge blog about how im fat, and a loser.

anyways.

i get a new best friend.
we end up creating "fake" accounts on facebook for a girl and a gay guy. we then add everyone we hate, random guys/girls. the gay guy adds the second girl since she has a few gay friends.

(yeah you know where this is going)

today we ended up trying to add the first girl to the gay guys profile. and then bam. i end up going on my fake girl to messages about how its really me, and im a huge fat piece of shit. and i have no friends and im a loser.

the second girl then messages me and rips me apart about how im soo fucking fat that i wished i was the skinny bimbo on my fake account. the fake guy gets messages pretty much saying the same thing and adding comments about my new bestfriend.

now before you rip me apart....
i know im a fucking idiot. if i was going to use a fake profile i shouldnt have used one of a girl who lived so close, nor a girl who i knew other people might recongize in the area. but i didnt think i would get caught. i had that attitude.

i honestly dont know what the fuck to do.
my best friend is freaking out, and being mean to me because he says im a idiot for using a girl who would get caught, and how i should have used a girl from the uk.


please tell me what to do. make me feel better

yeah i know. im a retard. a piece of shit. worthless and shouldnt be allowed to be alive.
but im freaking out.
im crying im shaking. i hate this.

these girls and people can easily look up my last name and come to my house. they have my cell and they know where i live. i just got a new car. im fucked.
these girls live in my city. and yeah its a big city it isnt THAT big.
i feel like i have to move. i need just die.