My Smiles a Chain-Link Fence, that I have put up - MM
Feeling as shallow as a pond. Very much into glam & aesthetic beauty at the moment, but not feeling or being in the moment. Feeling like things are boxed in, labelled and cannot defy their nature. Eg - Russell Brand is and can only ever be a Rusell Brand
ie - if he ever shaves his face or head, hell lose his mojo/look/image/identity.
I suffer constant Identity Crisis.
Whats My Thing? What do people like/not like about me? What do I like/Not like about myself?, and is it at all influenced by the opinions of others? One absolute revelation that has come to the fore front this year is a shallow one, an aesthetic development, a solid look that I have defined for myself through the help others, that I look good in business shirts with rolled up sleeves. This has been the deep spiritual core that is my year. Pathetic.
I still sometimes wish I could defy my genetics and obtain genetic traits that are impossible to mimic, and people who do, look stupid.
Lately Ive been intaking too much media and havent output a single creative original piece of art in a long, long time. Im afraid it wont be able to be placed in context, that it will mean nothing, to myself, or to anyone for that matter.
Everything I do is biased & tainted by the surrounding environment. I only ever take pictures of trees, it reeks of the Shire, I cannot see outside this box.
Why am I afriad to extend boundaries? Is it due to lack of creative tools? Why is it I only recently fixed the tools situation, something that cost less than $15 - a new video camera charger?!
I have been too stale & static creatively for far too long.
What Am I Afraid Of!?
I used to love the creative chaos and wonderment of the Universe. Why, lately, have I been boxing/labelling/defining/planning things so much? Is it parental influence? An expectation of who Im supposed to be?
I cant let go and enjoy the moment for what it is, always conscious& aware at the back of my mind.
When I went to the movies as a child, I used to get really anxious halfway through at the impending realization that eventually I would have to leave the theatre and return to the harsh, bright realities of the outside world. Just like the actors in the films I escaped into, I now feel like Im acting out, putting on a smile, but not really feeling the emotion Im displaying.
The inside is never the same as the Outside..
Feeling as shallow as a pond. Very much into glam & aesthetic beauty at the moment, but not feeling or being in the moment. Feeling like things are boxed in, labelled and cannot defy their nature. Eg - Russell Brand is and can only ever be a Rusell Brand
ie - if he ever shaves his face or head, hell lose his mojo/look/image/identity.
I suffer constant Identity Crisis.
Whats My Thing? What do people like/not like about me? What do I like/Not like about myself?, and is it at all influenced by the opinions of others? One absolute revelation that has come to the fore front this year is a shallow one, an aesthetic development, a solid look that I have defined for myself through the help others, that I look good in business shirts with rolled up sleeves. This has been the deep spiritual core that is my year. Pathetic.
I still sometimes wish I could defy my genetics and obtain genetic traits that are impossible to mimic, and people who do, look stupid.
Lately Ive been intaking too much media and havent output a single creative original piece of art in a long, long time. Im afraid it wont be able to be placed in context, that it will mean nothing, to myself, or to anyone for that matter.
Everything I do is biased & tainted by the surrounding environment. I only ever take pictures of trees, it reeks of the Shire, I cannot see outside this box.
Why am I afriad to extend boundaries? Is it due to lack of creative tools? Why is it I only recently fixed the tools situation, something that cost less than $15 - a new video camera charger?!
I have been too stale & static creatively for far too long.
What Am I Afraid Of!?
I used to love the creative chaos and wonderment of the Universe. Why, lately, have I been boxing/labelling/defining/planning things so much? Is it parental influence? An expectation of who Im supposed to be?
I cant let go and enjoy the moment for what it is, always conscious& aware at the back of my mind.
When I went to the movies as a child, I used to get really anxious halfway through at the impending realization that eventually I would have to leave the theatre and return to the harsh, bright realities of the outside world. Just like the actors in the films I escaped into, I now feel like Im acting out, putting on a smile, but not really feeling the emotion Im displaying.
The inside is never the same as the Outside..