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julesdoll

Seattle

Member Since 2007

Followers 715 Following 739

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Sunday Dec 05, 2010

Dec 5, 2010
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Ive been staying with my buddies from Into The Storm in Seattle so I can go to school. Shits been tough, emotionally,financially, and mentally. I'm so stressed out, I've been drinking a lot. My relationship is fucked up, and it just hurts so much to love someone who cannot love me. I still feel so unworthy of any love. How could someone love me and if they could, then why dont they. Why am I still alone. I'm tired of having no one to talk to. I' just want a place to be comfortable. i want a bed and a warm bath. and maybe a hand to hold..is that too much to ask for?

I've been making so much art. I paint and draw every day. i sing so much. My friend and I are starting to make music and it will be great. I love that I am learning so much and I want to be independent, but more stable. Mentally I'm so very damaged, Ive been dealing because I have to. But the other day I was just so close to ending shit, everything.. because its just too much sometimes. I just dont know if i can make it. but i want to. i want to be ok.

still heartbroken,still making art

thats all for now
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
_smurfzilla_:
dont be so hard on yourself hun. youre a wonderful person. i know that it feels hollow when people tell you that and you dont feel it inside.. but were going to keep saying it because its what we see in you.
hang in there sweetie. <3
Dec 6, 2010
alkaline:
I just want to see you happy sooooo badly!! If you need a hand to hold, come visit me - I have TWO empty ones biggrin

I was really sad and depressed about being alone for a very very long time. Suddenly it just clicked. It just got ok. Hold on to the knowledge that that day will come. And everything you have gone through has been a stepping stone to that point. Im still pretty alone most of the time.. nothing has really changed except the way I view the world, and myself. Its in you, babe. And you will find it.
Dec 6, 2010

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