julesdoll

Once I was on the road to self improvement, I was never good enough.
So I found the road to discovery, and found that no one is perfect.



Self harm is a hard cycle to break. It steam from an obsession with self hatred. The thought that one is never good enough, not worth anything. So the body must pay. And become more ugly and disfigured than before.
I held myself back when all I wanted was to feel good. But I was told I didnt deserve it, so it stuck. I punished myself. For too long.

I have changed a whole lot since last year. But I feel about the same as far as self worth. It's hard to find any worth in myself when there is no one here to let me know. Let me know what's real. To tell me I'm ok, and I'm not a monster. Because I've forgotten. And I can't see from this far away. But I am leaving this place, and I hope I learned something.
To learn to love after so much hate. To let yourself love after constant rejection. Its not easy, but it must happen because I'm done decaying. I wish I had stopped a long time ago. Now or never...


I've inflicted hurt on the surface, because they made me hurt inside.

To take that fear and that bad trip, to paint it out on canvas, to see that monster. To defeat it. And win.
Not quite yet