Tuesday Dec 28, 2010

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Naked girls aren't turning me on right now, just making me look at myself with hatred.
I am not feminine enough, I will never look right.
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flyer:
I think you are beautiful.
remod66:
I happen to think you're beautiful inside and out--oh, and I'm not in the habit of "just saying" things, either.

Saturday Dec 25, 2010

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Merry fuckmas!
My heart is filled with love and beauty. I am able to rest in a warm bed with wonderful company.

Suicide Girls and Suicidal fans...Have a lovely day and let love into your hearts where ever you may be.
Celebrate the season with all your imagination.
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alkaline:
I would love to try and see you before I move away, lady. Ill see what I can do!
I hope your holidays have been amazing - you know I think you deserve only the best always.

soooo much love to you my dear friend.
xoxoxox
jb_pdxs:
Thanks for the HHolidays message, back at you for the New Year! 2011 come close and treat me right!

Friday Dec 24, 2010

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Honestly I'm trying not to break. I cant let myself crumble under the stress. I have to be strong, but when can I take a break? When I do I fall, everything just burns and I get lost again. I feel lost again. Fuck the medications they make me take, I dont even know if I could handle life without them. I dont want to...
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flyer:
Much love and concern for you. Stay strong. FIght. Best wishes always.

Friday Dec 24, 2010

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A lover a friend. The Devil kissed me.

Have a warm winter solstice and a fantastic new year!
remod66:
And to you, my fine friend!

Thursday Dec 23, 2010

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Loathing a lonely Holiday. My family is all far away. I'm so poor its hurting. But I'm warm here, and maybe I've found shelter for now.

I swear I've sold my soul to the devil.
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weso:
Happy holidays. I hope you enjoy at least a little bit of it. I saw a post of yours in the goth group that made me laugh. So I'm sure you'll find something to make you smile over the next few days.
jb_pdxs:
I love the Devil comes to town stories...and soul seller stories. Have you ever read The Devil and Tom Walker, or seen the movie The Devil and Daniel Webster? Both so great!

Friday Dec 10, 2010

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Attention peoples in Seattle/near Seattle!
I want to hang out with you people. I don't know anyone here. PM me and we shall kick it!


I started playing guitar. Its going slow, but its clicking. I'm going to make music. Everyday I drive to school, about an hour away from where I stay. I sing to myself, I make up songs on the spot. Its...
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jimcurt99:
Great to hear things are looking up- you should get in touch with Cadavre- she just moved to Seattlesmilesmile No way are you ugly- BEAUTIFUL I would say!!kiss
alkaline:
Yoooou should try to come to Van before I move away in the Spring... or maybe I can get someone to road trip to Seattle. Its not that far!!

Sunday Dec 05, 2010

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Ive been staying with my buddies from Into The Storm in Seattle so I can go to school. Shits been tough, emotionally,financially, and mentally. I'm so stressed out, I've been drinking a lot. My relationship is fucked up, and it just hurts so much to love someone who cannot love me. I still feel so unworthy of any love. How could someone love me and...
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_smurfzilla_:
dont be so hard on yourself hun. youre a wonderful person. i know that it feels hollow when people tell you that and you dont feel it inside.. but were going to keep saying it because its what we see in you.
hang in there sweetie. <3
alkaline:
I just want to see you happy sooooo badly!! If you need a hand to hold, come visit me - I have TWO empty ones biggrin

I was really sad and depressed about being alone for a very very long time. Suddenly it just clicked. It just got ok. Hold on to the knowledge that that day will come. And everything you have gone through has been a stepping stone to that point. Im still pretty alone most of the time.. nothing has really changed except the way I view the world, and myself. Its in you, babe. And you will find it.

Friday Nov 19, 2010

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I'm couch surfing in Seattle. I am going to design school. Its so much fun, I feel ok that I picked up everything and did this by myself. Learning is so important to me. And so is exploration of the world. Seattle is a little different and hard to get used to, but I like it so far and I want to see more of...
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jb_pdxs:
Great to hear you took action on your situation! Always good to hear some good news. I interviewed for a job up near Seattle last week. I hope that I get it because my family is in Portland and I from the NWest.
elsie_caruso:
I think I might want to move out there for a few months but I also think its the wrong time of year to do it!

Tuesday Nov 09, 2010

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I almost died in a car crash today. Spun my car into a ditch because of wet roads...
But if I was to die, it would be lovely to die listening to Appleseed Cast. Its strange that I will always think of that moment when I listen to them.
My car is messed up though. And I was on my way to Seattle. I

I'm...
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jb_pdxs:
Wow, glad you are alive! Great Halloween outfits, good to see you guys having fun!
starlastarlove:
how ya doing sweetheart? <3

Saturday Nov 06, 2010

1

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julesdoll:
green farie goodness
starlastarlove:
Hey you should check this out.. pretty cool... i would totally be into it but i can't drink frown
http://greendevil.com/absinthe.html

Wednesday Oct 27, 2010

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julesdoll:
Its settled. Im going as The Green Farie, aka Absinthe Faerie!
jb_pdxs:
That's a great dress, how did the costume go?

Tuesday Oct 26, 2010

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The social reject.
Never had a panic attack as bad as last night. But I have had panic attacks at shows before, to where I had to leave.
I was so stoked to see Gogol Bordello. One of the best bands ever. But with everyone dancing, so many people having fun. I felt so alone. I couldnt smile or dance, I felt so stupid, like...
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1sailor:
Cheer up...you are no social reject, except in your own mind.
Stop thinking that way. Hang in there, life will get better when you let it.
jb_pdxs:
Have you ever listened to Hanoi Rocks? You actually have a lot of lyrical themes in common.
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