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judyisapunk

Shitsville NJ

Member Since 2005

Followers 38 Following 33

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Sunday Apr 17, 2005

Apr 17, 2005
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I have this intense urge to meet new people, but I feel guilty about that because I will beleaving here in a few weeks. I don't know why I need to meet new people all the time. I love my friends, but maybe it has to do with my ove of discovery. I love opening up new people like packages and discovering their insides. I love being allowed to read lives like novels and write mine for other's ears. I love the hunt for common ground and staning on it my hand in theirs. I love forging friendships like new roads. But am also crushed under the weight of these new lives when they sink ineveibly from mine. I cannot let go, I never have been able to. I dig my claws in deep and they get torn out over and over. But there is always a high involved so I dust myself off and do it again.
I miss Tom. Ya'all don't know Tom but I wanted to write that I missed him. It makes my feeling real to read it back to myself. We've been playing phone tag and growing apart. I should call him again soon. I need to hear his voice and that he's happy.
I added two new peices to my senior project. I think their brilliant and one has an intense rhythem that I can use for an upcoming slam I'm supposed to compete in. It's funny I almost didn't sign up for the slam and now I actually want to win. Karen will win, I know it, she's a better slam poet than me and has been to slam nationals, but I yearn for the gradification, and noteriaty none the less.
This is turning out to be a long journal to my suprise. I guess I've had a lot to think about since my insomnia is back full force tonight. Hopefully I will be visited by more voices from "The Co-op" and will write them tomorrow. I am fully into the lives of these characters I am creating, to the point where it doesn't feel like I am creating them at all. They just speak to me, tell me thier stories and I write them down and share them. Maybe I will post one tomorrow. And maybe I will really write sixty of them. I feel like I can do it, they are in me.
I'm mailing in my next set. I am really proud of it, and hope it gets accepted. If it doesn't I may give up trying to go pink, I may not. But i'm proud of the beauty of htis next set. It has grace, and I am not self actualising, I mean that in the photograpfy the lighting and the angles it has grace, not just in my naked body.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Good fight
Good Night
leanimal:
I'm thiiiiiinking about it! I still have to convince myself it's ok if lastof9 can't touch them for a few months - maybe towards the end of the summer, after the newness of moving in with him wears off! But if I do, I'll send you pics and sympathy pains!
Apr 18, 2005

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