jude_star

I spent nearly all of yesterday and today hanging out with one of my friends who goes to school about a three hour drive from where I am currently living. He was up to relax and see his family and friends. We didn't do to much. Played some games, watched movies, talked, order pizza... you get the point. Anyway nothing exciting to report on.

I feel like shit for not geting more initiative and finding a job. I printed out some job applications from the net, but so far I have yet to turn anything in. I relly to get on this. I have to buy gas, pay my car insurance, pay for school stuff, and so on. I'm trying to kick myself in the ass enough to go out and get a job, even if it means being a gas station attendant or something really sucky that I know I'll hate. I don't have long at all before I'll have to start asking my parents for money... like less than two weeks if I don't get my shit together fast.

To add to my recent time in the emotional gutter, I found out the girl that i havea crush on is not available and that she is in a serious relationship with someone. I would be upset and jealous, but I don't know the guy, and if I were in his position I bet I would want anyone thinking there were any possibilites. I'm pretty mcuh out of the crush faze with this girl and onto someone new. It's funny how crushes can be put aside so easily sometimes depending on who they are on.

I want to kiss a cute girl really bad right now... I feel pathetic.