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jubalharshaw

Member Since 2002

Followers 19 Following 33

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Wednesday Nov 03, 2004

Nov 2, 2004
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....This is gon' be looong.

I saw Anne tonight. This is a "WHOA" event. WHOA as in, "Tim can no longer roll down car windows, open doors, or talk." I have to see her again.

It was tonight when I was driving to Mattie's for his, "sit around and cry at the elections" party. I got off of 35W onto <a street>. Two women about to go through the crosswalk, so I stop. It was Anne. Instantly recognizable. Her smile. I just stared at her. She looked back at me; don't know if she recognized me. Tried to open a window to call her name, but with the new car I still fumble with the automatic, and there was a car coming up behind me, so I had to move. It's a one way street: they were walking the other direction. Lost her. I have to see her again.

Let me explain: Anne is Anne <name deleted>. She was my crush from the last years of elementary school through middle school. She was smart, pretty, sweet, smile melted you on the spot. She's now gorgeous, and her smile has literally stopped traffic. Back then I was a year older than everyone and thought that that meant that no one else was having all them "special grown up feelings", etc. Never asked her out, etc. etc. See "My Girl" for details. I'm older, a little wiser, and no longer nearly so chickenshit. I have to pursue this. It's been on my mind for the last 5 hours.

Now I'm home from the party. I have to see her again.



:batcave computer noises (you need a montage!!!):

AHA!!!!!

I knew she had to be at the U of M! Google searching <her name> pulled up THISSS



<well, this was a link anyway>



SHE'S STILL DOING MUSIC!! A mezzo soprano. :swoon : swoon : swoon: OMG <3<3<3 :swoon:

Her choir is doing a free concert Sunday the 14th of this month, 3pm. I'm going. I wonder if I can find another way to get a hold of her in the meantime. This has been so much more fruitful than my first thought of putting a "I saw you" ad in the citypages personals.

Another thing this search pulled up was her sister, Meredith. Did theater, apparently (good, I'd expect it of her) and also was a National Merit Scholar! Go her! (smart family. I almost decided I had a crush on Meredith, but went with Anne because of the age and grade thing. I was so very logical about these things at that age.... surreal )

By the way:

This was a shitty day. I got a speeding ticket. I had no insurance proof. I now need to get insurance proof. This means I can't exchange vehicles at the dealer, because I just am not going to be able to buy a week of auto insurance....Truth is, since I have unpaid/unchallenged tickets from my car accident, I am lucky that I wasn't arrested this morning. Late to band. Drum solo I can't sight read. The next two weeks will suck. It's a piece I've done before, but I was on bells last time. The bells are more fun, goddammit.

Wasn't ready for my guitar lesson today. Turns out I get attendance points, too. Shouldn't have skipped last week.

I have a quiz in ear training Thursday. I have to have my major and minor 6ths and 7ths hammered out by then. Fuck. Tetrachords as well: natural vs minor.

Have to move my stuff back to my apartment. Pay rent. Clean up. Get a schedule down for school. Grocery shop (assume everything that was in my fridge has died and is in transitional rebirth. Eew.) Practice the hell out of the drums.

DID I MENTION THAT I HAVE TO PERFORM IN PERFORMANCE CLASS TOMORROW ON A PIECE THAT I HAVEN'T PRACTICED? SHIT. TOTALLY FORGOT. Going to have to talk to the teacher about that one.


THE ELECTION IS STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT.

This is a day that (early on in it) felt like it happened to remind me that God hates me. And is punishing me for atheism. Fucking Catholic child-rearing....

Odd that when I told that to Lorna (the timpanist) she said that she has had two estranged children contact her and invite her into their homes for the holiday. I'm really glad for her, I am. Using it as an example that things turn out good, though...I don't want to slog through over 40 more years of life for something to work out right. Don't even get me started on the idea that being invited to the holidays with her family means that they were bitches for probably 20 years.

It's not the way I want to be reminded of destiny. It's not a concept I enjoy. The idea that there's some great plan, reason or predetermination for my suffering is something that hurts. If destiny exists, it sucks. Though after seeing Anne tonight, I can't rationalize anything else. The romantic in me...try to suppress it, it makes me weak, vulnerable. Damn though....Anne.

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