jubalharshaw

Got no motivation. Got no confidence. Lonely. Depression is hitting hard. Shitty.

Japanese teacher needs to stop asking about the weather in test questions. I do not know if it rained yesterday. I don't know what pants I wore yesterday. "I forget" is not a cop out. It's an answer.

"Alcohol, a party-time necessity"

Alcohol in large amounts depresses me. Naturally, it is a depressant, and although that's not quite what the word means, it is still to be expected; certainly it's not a surprise.

However, just a residual amount, maybe a couple ounces, coming off a buzz: beauty. There's a spring in my step that I enjoy. If I'm thinking sad thoughts, still the...
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I really wish I could cry. It's about that ex, Amanda. I really feel and fear that she is the best that will ever happen to me, and that I can never go back, that there is no reset, do-over, and that neither happiness nor companionship will ever find me in this life; this loneliness will forever gnaw at my being, painful, and aggravated by...
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I am emo hardcore. Hard rock exterior, squishy emo insides. I'm so emo it hurts. My emo condenses into a black hole and spits out Raffi.

That'd make a great shirt. "Raffi is Emo". Copyright.

I contacted an ex today. Err, looking at the time I guess that was yesterday. I'll go by the "sun's up" ruling and say today. Yeah.

Man, she was the...
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Kinda funny. Complete anonymity of a journal, right where so many can read it. Heh.

Ugh


I feel so trashed. Stressed out the roof. Conversation drills in Japanese today. After telling him not to, my partner changed up the conversation while we performed it. I could have shot him.

I'm tired. I want to watch Naruto and unwind, but from here on out things start to eat into my beauty sleep, which really is sorely lacking/necessary. My side hurts. I...
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I HATE WHEN I FUCKING LOSE MY TEXT.

V.2

Things can't be great when you're looking for a Mudvayne quote to paste in your journal. Gotta hand it to Mudvayne though: they rock, and Kud is a poet. A disturbed poet, sure, but it goes with the theme.

(Once again I'd like to interject that I hate losing text. Remembering what you wrote is never...
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One could say that this summer sucked.

I started dating someone.
She gave me mono.
The mono lasted longer.
I didn't get a job. Half assery, half mono.

Found out my dog is dying. Going over to my parents to see her tonight.

On the bright side, I saw my cousins for a week.

I'm very glad that school will be starting.

That'll change in...
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My friend's wedding is this Saturday! Congrats to her!

Dear gods, an update.

A month before school starts! I have mono! Shit! Goodbye wonderful rock climbing class! I won't know what I'm missing!

Blah. The throat sucks.

So if I'm rearranging my schedule anyway, how cans I makes up a schedule that A knocks off some academic classes and B juggles music classes as well? At this point I'm pretty committed to a plan...
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Ooh, first journal entry: boring by feeling of obligation. Insomnia, too. maybe in a few more hours, sleep will come.

I got my head, but my head is unraveling; can't keep control, can't keep track of where it's traveling...Who needs sleep? Well you're never going to get it.