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jschaefer

Kitchener

Member Since 2005

Followers 9 Following 18

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Saturday Oct 01, 2005

Oct 1, 2005
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A lonely wedding...

Well tonite was my cousin's wedding. A very joyous occasion, and a great night. It was so nice to see the ENTIRE family together, all having fun and just partying. The greatest moment was when my whole (immediate) family was all together in a circle, dancing to "Let's get it started". My WHOLE family, all of my brothers, my dad and my mom... it was so great to have us all together and enjoying what we were doing together. It's even greater in an odd time with my parents (us not knowing how much longer they will really remain together).

The crappy part was being so alone. What made it all worse was that my invitation was for me plus on (a guest) but I had no guest to bring, so there was this empty seat at our table all night that served as a consistent reminder of how alone I truly am.

It really caught up when everyone in my immediate family had kinf of segregated off to other people. My two youngest brothers were off playing with the other young children that were there, my brother who is next down from me was off with his girlfriend. My Mom was chatting with my Aunt and my Dad was just, who knows. Then there I was, alone, at the table, by myself. I felt SO out of place, so what did I do? Hit up the (open) bar. It was quite depressing, especially during all of the slow songs, knowing that I had no one in my life.

The hardest part was the fact that it was a wedding, and that my cousin was there with his sweet girlfriend and their new born. It just sucked so much, being alone and feeling it now more then ever. All I wanted was to walk in with someone truly special to me, someone that, maybe one day, I would be having children with. Ah well though!

I am still kind of buzzed, so this is taking a little bit to type out, lol. My Dad and I are going to spend some time together tomorrow before I head back to Toronto (in Kitchener right now). I know that I am happy where I am, and I am not searching for something or someone more. I am merely living life as it is and hoping for the best, but there is still a part of me that is ever so lonely... and I cannot wait until I can finally fulfill that craving. Oh where is my love? and when will I find her? Oh well! trivial questions, there are better things in life right now, like; work, friends, hobbies and SG!

-Ciao!~

P.S. Other then being a little lonely, it was a GREAT night and there are a few photos
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
sky:
Have you added that PS. in an edit? i dont remember seeing it before. I like the positive ending to it!
loneliness only makes you appreciate people more once you've got them.
Oct 4, 2005
blue:
thanks skull
Oct 4, 2005

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