amazing how shitty you can feel after a single incident. i've been doing so well for awhile now. then it all goes to hell. the neato girl? probably gone. the job? in trouble there. friends? sorry, i'm a stranger in a strange land.
it's like i'm playing a big game, but i don't know the rules, and only find out when i break them. so fuck me and fuck you too.
can't kill myself. prove everyone right by doing that. but sometimes it's not worth living either. so what the fuck do i do now? i can't keep doing this, but something new is just beyond my reach.
spiral down? or try to raise up again like the phoenix? can i get high enough from the ashes that i won't be reminded where i came from? do i want to?
it's like i'm playing a big game, but i don't know the rules, and only find out when i break them. so fuck me and fuck you too.
can't kill myself. prove everyone right by doing that. but sometimes it's not worth living either. so what the fuck do i do now? i can't keep doing this, but something new is just beyond my reach.
spiral down? or try to raise up again like the phoenix? can i get high enough from the ashes that i won't be reminded where i came from? do i want to?