jphi69

I have had a lot of stuff on my mind lately.

It all hit me on Monday night. I woke up in the middle of the night and just thought to myself "what in the fuck am I doing?".

I have been seriously contemplating my future. I feel like I need to do more in my life. I am 35 years old. I have been living in Seattle for 14 years now and I have not had jack shit to show for it. I have gone to school and even tried to get into the travel industry. What a waste that was! Now, I am still a temp doing a dirty filthy job (slinging sausage casings!).I have been unemployed since July. A hundred job applications and resumes and nothing! I don't know whether these guys are going to hire me or not. I am still waiting. Even if they did hire me on permanent, I feel inclined not to stay. I am seriously considering moving in with my Mom in Idaho and going to school.

I know Idaho is not my first choice to live in, but my Mom lives near the college there (it's in Coeur d'Alene) and it's not like I would be paying rent. I would be paying for part of the groceries, internet, and long distance phone calls. I would also have to start driving again and I would be okay with that. Of course I would still be working too. All I know is that I want to get out of the current situation I am in. I want to do something that will make me happy and make more money than I am getting now. I will still have my website and I am certain that I can keep it going while I am living there.

My luck must change and it is all down to me to do the changing.