jp

So...

I've always thought that the way of Hara-kiri was a good way to go. I mean, damn dawg - that's no chicken-shit suicide; that's when you MEANT that shit. And since, it's a part of that whole ritual, I was wondering, I mean, if it's not too much to ask....

I've decided that if I commit Hara-kiri, I want you to cut off my head. You're my best friend and I can think of no-one more qualified, nor invited, to strike me dead, provided I have buried a short sword in my guts and ripped them to shreds, and am therefore suffocating in a pool of my own piss, shit, blood, and guts -- I want you to be "that guy" and fuckin' man-up, motherfucker! Please chop off my head after I have suffered excrutiatingly for, oh, I dunno, not too long... I mean, I'd like to think I'm a tough motherfucker, but, seriously, it's rather sensless at that point, and you'll have a Katana right there in your hands, so.... Hook a brutha up and chop off my head. And, dude, for realz, please make it a clean cut. Don't get all nervous and bitch-acting and do something fucked, like bury the sword half-way in my skull while I am still breathing and thinking and functioning and have a smaller sword buried deep within my bowels. Please, just cut off my head. I will never forgive you if, as I lay dying, begging for mercy, you lop off an arm or leg, cuz you are too fucking nervous to swing a sword... I don't want to be dropped into a blender and slowly chopped to bits, one half-ass blow at a time, I'd much rather you just buck-up and get down to bidness.

So.... We down, or what?

I knew I could depend on you. And, yeah, obviously, the plan hasn't changed on how we're goin' out... I was just sayin', in the unlikely event of an impromptu Hara-kiri, you know...