i wrote this a while ago. i was thinking that someone here that might get something out of it.
...
in between spaces
today i am at the edge of the world. almost everyone i love is scattered. sometimes our physical spaces overlap. there is a feeling when it happens. i can bridge my space to theirs in bitstream and analog wave. we can talk, communicate roughly. there is something in physical presence that we cannot approximate. not with telephone calls, not with email, not with online journals. it is a warmth; it is fitting human beings together.
i am thinking of my uncle, alone. his body is detoxifying, scrubbing alcohol out of his blood. i can hear exhaustion on the receiver. he punctuates everything in deep sighs; i imagine old liquor on his breath. he is shuddering from poison. he tells me about how part of him wants to die, and how part of him wants to live. i want him to live, and i tell him so. we talk about watching lightning storms from the mesas in our hometown. about how we would wait for heavy cloud, and when it came we would race monsoons and dodge flash floods up the old airport road. we would sit, soaked, under downpours and watch lightning fork from sky to red clay hills around the airport. i remind him of how he felt, waving his crutches at the churning sky. we talked about watching storms like that again sometime.
i am thinking about the woman i love. she is so far away, now. she is in a jumbo jet over the Mediterranean Sea. she is an archeologist, and she is going to Crete. i don't know what she is doing there - cataloging, digging, not sure. she's not sure yet, either. i think about her voice when she wakes up, and there is a window in her life when everything is now - she is not tied up with the future and past. she recognizes my voice, and whispers "hi, baby," and i can hear her smiling. in those ephemerals, those moments, i forget that she is sick. i forget the dark spots in her lung, the c/t scans, the blood tests. in those moments she and i are forever.
i think about those moments, the intangibles that we remember to suit us. the moments when everything is for all time; how love and life get a second chance in the space between breaths.
...
in between spaces
today i am at the edge of the world. almost everyone i love is scattered. sometimes our physical spaces overlap. there is a feeling when it happens. i can bridge my space to theirs in bitstream and analog wave. we can talk, communicate roughly. there is something in physical presence that we cannot approximate. not with telephone calls, not with email, not with online journals. it is a warmth; it is fitting human beings together.
i am thinking of my uncle, alone. his body is detoxifying, scrubbing alcohol out of his blood. i can hear exhaustion on the receiver. he punctuates everything in deep sighs; i imagine old liquor on his breath. he is shuddering from poison. he tells me about how part of him wants to die, and how part of him wants to live. i want him to live, and i tell him so. we talk about watching lightning storms from the mesas in our hometown. about how we would wait for heavy cloud, and when it came we would race monsoons and dodge flash floods up the old airport road. we would sit, soaked, under downpours and watch lightning fork from sky to red clay hills around the airport. i remind him of how he felt, waving his crutches at the churning sky. we talked about watching storms like that again sometime.
i am thinking about the woman i love. she is so far away, now. she is in a jumbo jet over the Mediterranean Sea. she is an archeologist, and she is going to Crete. i don't know what she is doing there - cataloging, digging, not sure. she's not sure yet, either. i think about her voice when she wakes up, and there is a window in her life when everything is now - she is not tied up with the future and past. she recognizes my voice, and whispers "hi, baby," and i can hear her smiling. in those ephemerals, those moments, i forget that she is sick. i forget the dark spots in her lung, the c/t scans, the blood tests. in those moments she and i are forever.
i think about those moments, the intangibles that we remember to suit us. the moments when everything is for all time; how love and life get a second chance in the space between breaths.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
tryptamine_____:
thats what i liked about it, the way that its dark but not depressing really. i don't know; i'm not good at explaining these things. i just... feel it, and being able to make some feel with your writing is what makes it powerful. as i'm sure you know. 
girlblue:
Talk about striking a chord...