joyfuldemise

I try not to post 'Customers Say The Darndest Things' very often, partly because most of them are only funny to me, but also because I could post about that every day and never talk about anything else. I have to make an exception for this one, though, because it's just too funny.

My two favorite customers came in today. They're an eccentric couple who work on movies and commercials. He's big, goofy and intense, she's charming, sophisticated and intense. He had a splint on his finger today when they walked in. The conversation went like this:

Me: What did you do to your hand?!
Him: I...uh...well, you see, we're working on this new commercial...(mumblemumble)....big project...(mumblemumble)....
Her: HE WAS CHAIR-SURFING!
Him: Yes, well, I suppose it is a bit funny...You know how everything's always funny in retrospect...
Her: Oh, no-It was funny at the time. I took pictures. I'll bring them in for you!

And now, without further ado, here's something I stole from char1es.


I NEVER

( ) I've Never Been Drunk
( ) I've Never Smoked Pot
( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car
(x) I've Never Been To Japan
( ) I've Never Been In A Taxi
( ) I've Never Been In Love
( ) I've Never Had Sex In Public
( ) I've Never Been Dumped
(x) I've Never Done Cocaine
(x) I've Never Shoplifted
(x) I've Never Been Fired
(x) I've Never Been In A Fistfight
( ) I've Never Had Group Intercourse (threesome)
(x) I've Never Snuck Out Of My Parents' House
( ) I've Never Been Tied Up
( ) I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
(x) I've Never Been Arrested
( ) I've Never Made Out With A Stranger
( ) I've Never Stolen Something From My Job
(x) I've Never Celebrated New Years' In Times Square
(x) I've Never Gone On A Blind Date
( ) I've Never Lied To A Friend
( ) I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
(x) I've Never Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans
(x) I've Never Been To Europe
( ) I've Never Skipped School
( ) I've Never Slept With A Co-worker
( ) I've Never Cut Myself On Purpose
( ) I've Never Had Sex At The Office
( ) I've Never Been Married
( ) I've Never Been Divorced
( ) I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
( ) I've Never Posed Nude
(x) I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
(x) I've Never Killed Anyone
( ) I've Never Received A Hickey From My Sex Partner
(x) I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar
( ) I've Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
( ) I've Never Eaten Sushi
(x) I've Never Been Snowboarding
( ) I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House
(x) I've Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
(x) I've Never Flashed Anyone