Help Wanted:
Personal Bully and/or Henchman required.
Job Requirements/Qualifications: Undead and huge. Misunderstood Monsters encouraged to apply.
Location: Canada. Must be willing to relocate.
Duties/Resposibilites: Must be willing to work shifts cracking skulls, and pummeling people that piss me off. Should also be adept at strangulation, bifurcation, amputation, evisceration, mutilation, limb dissection, toxic evenomization, tracheostomy obstruction, deaths resulting from fear/fright induced by verbal assault (scaring...
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Personal Bully and/or Henchman required.
Job Requirements/Qualifications: Undead and huge. Misunderstood Monsters encouraged to apply.
Location: Canada. Must be willing to relocate.
Duties/Resposibilites: Must be willing to work shifts cracking skulls, and pummeling people that piss me off. Should also be adept at strangulation, bifurcation, amputation, evisceration, mutilation, limb dissection, toxic evenomization, tracheostomy obstruction, deaths resulting from fear/fright induced by verbal assault (scaring...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
Edited for brainless stupidity.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
mikefool:
do not look sad.. i am still you ever lovin hench-man
tat2fiend:
Wooo Hooo...........The Queen in SD!!!! Can't wait. When you get to town you'll have to get ahold of me so we can hit some of the great parties that happen that weekend. 
I will be in LA again next week for the DAYS OF DARKNESS HORROR FESTIVAL among other things. Local fiends should come and check this con out. The guest list is impressive.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
filthyrich:
thanks
porcelainheart:
hope the LA thing is going well. 
I am a monster
please forgive me
I am
unaware
I did not ask
to be made
I fumble through this life
trying to fit in
unaware
that I was never made to
that I was never meant to
I stand alone forever
gazing at the world
wishing I could embrace it
unaware
that it will never
embrace me in return
I try my best...
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please forgive me
I am
unaware
I did not ask
to be made
I fumble through this life
trying to fit in
unaware
that I was never made to
that I was never meant to
I stand alone forever
gazing at the world
wishing I could embrace it
unaware
that it will never
embrace me in return
I try my best...
Read More
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
fu:
be well please
dragon:
<quote> Matthew Good Band </quote>
Dammit, you're a writer, and a god damned good one at that! Stop quoting and say what you feel!
It's a fucking cop-out to use someone else's words when you've got the talent to dig into yourself and rip out the shit that's inside you for real!
So here's the deal... I forgive you for needing to feel. I forgive you for being sucked into the creative voice of others. I can't forgive you for taking the easy way out, though I would never let that affect our friendship. Love ya way too much to do that.
Trust me -- I know this shit, and I did it for a long time myself -- it's easy to let someone else interpret your inside for you. It's fucking rough doing it for yourself.
But it's worth it.
- D -
Dammit, you're a writer, and a god damned good one at that! Stop quoting and say what you feel!
It's a fucking cop-out to use someone else's words when you've got the talent to dig into yourself and rip out the shit that's inside you for real!
So here's the deal... I forgive you for needing to feel. I forgive you for being sucked into the creative voice of others. I can't forgive you for taking the easy way out, though I would never let that affect our friendship. Love ya way too much to do that.
Trust me -- I know this shit, and I did it for a long time myself -- it's easy to let someone else interpret your inside for you. It's fucking rough doing it for yourself.
But it's worth it.
- D -
L.A. Fun. Busy. 
the misunderstood monsters kicking around here.
I have to go kidnap a supernatural private dick and take him home with me. Wish me luck, I know this guy, he ain't goin down without a fight...
the misunderstood monsters kicking around here.
I have to go kidnap a supernatural private dick and take him home with me. Wish me luck, I know this guy, he ain't goin down without a fight...
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
fu:
You're in LA, you fucker? Call me call me.
squid_vicious:
Hey, I'm going to be in LA for a couple of hours tomorrow. I'll wave if I see you.
The Deadly Donut
This morning I strolled in to the local donut shop on Queen Street for a shot of their special brand of super-caffinated, rancid coffee. It's one of those divy little joints owned by an Asian family, none of whom speak any english. We use the point and nod method of communication which is fine by me first thing in the morning. It's...
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This morning I strolled in to the local donut shop on Queen Street for a shot of their special brand of super-caffinated, rancid coffee. It's one of those divy little joints owned by an Asian family, none of whom speak any english. We use the point and nod method of communication which is fine by me first thing in the morning. It's...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
evanx:
Whoa! Hope you ate it before it ate you!!!!
discusstin:
jumpin jesus on a pogo stick. that things fuckin huge.
Hey you salty-brained fuckers! If any of you are in the New York/New Jersey area this weekend, come on out to the CHILLER THEATRE CONVENTION. As always, RUE MORGUE will be in attendance, right at the top of the escalators. It's a blast and the parties are totally insane. Come on out and offer me your throats. I need a few volunteers who'll let...
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
bang_bang:
wish i could be there(dips pen in blood)where do i sign
mikefool:
hmmm.. hornier than a three peckered goat?? is that sexy or scarey?
wait i remebered who I am talking about.
both.
i mised ya
wait i remebered who I am talking about.
both.
i mised ya
Hi everyone, I have to disappear from here for a while. Have some shit I have to deal with. I'll come clawing through the dirt for solid ground soon. Protect your brains cos I'm coming for them!
luv,
ZQ
luv,
ZQ
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
reanimateme:
You just dug me up.
I was six feet under.
And now you're saying you have to go.
Ok!
Wake me up when you come back.
(X)_(x)
I was six feet under.
And now you're saying you have to go.
Ok!
Wake me up when you come back.
(X)_(x)
fu:
grrrrrrrrrrrrr!! Come back soon.
like now
or NOW!
like now
or NOW!
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
abracapocus:
Hey, thanks for submitting the Hellboy story. You're good 'dead' people
kingskottie:
it's father's day and i want my cake... heh!
Y'know, I've probably walked past you and the RUE MORGUE booth more than once at various shows -- and not ONCE stopped to WORSHIP YOU LIKE THE GODDESS YOU ARE.
Forgive me, okay? I didn't know...
Several years back, I wrote a comic series for DC about a bunch of teenage monsters that formed a punk band; if you shoot me a mailing address, I'll send you copies.