One time when I was young I had the unfortunate experience of seeing my dad naked. Now, my father is a big scary Serbian guy who has a voice like a thunderbolt. He'd scare the shit out of all of us just by coming home. Anyhow I always knew the man had balls but my god he had the HUGEST balls I have ever seen! I mean they were like something off a wild beast for godssake! It scarred me psychologically. I caught him coming out of the shower once. He regularly takes dumps without closing the washroom door so we are all used to the sounds of my dad's strainging and farts (which he often named after his children) So this was by no means a cultured man. But this was horrible. No child should have to see these things.
So I told my twin bother about it and he didn't believe me. It went over like this:
Twin: Well how big WERE they?
Me: I dunno, HUGE
Twin: you mean like plums or kiwis?
Me: Eeew, gross..I dunno more like granny smith apples,
Twin: WHAT? Ok, draw me a pciture (I was the artist of the family)
Me: I'M NOT GONNA DRAW YOU A PICTURE OF DAD'S BALLS!!
Twin: Why not, you draw cartoons of dad all the time.
Me: Yeah but that's sickatating!
Twin: Yeah but it'll be funny.
Me: OK.
So I drew him a charicature, like many charicatures I have drawn of my Eastern European immigrant father. Wearing his wife beater, trouser socks with sandals and his little adidas shorts with his bag hanging out...
later my Twin and many of our friends got to see first hand the gigantism of my father's balls, He would wear those same little shorts and lie on the couch with one leg up on the back of it exposing one of them in all its glory for anyone to see. And even though he was right in front of the coffee table, he'd call you in to hand him the remote that was on it......he wasn't a pervert or anything, he was just plain lazy and used to having his servant of a wife around to get it for him.
..a moment in time I had to share. I still have never seen balls that rival my pop's.
HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"..mmm....aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!"
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Don't forget it if you are in the Toronto area to come out to Rue Morgue's screening of THE EYE on Jan 15th. Check out this flyer for details:
http://www.rue-morgue.com/html/content/images/events/eye.jpg
So I told my twin bother about it and he didn't believe me. It went over like this:
Twin: Well how big WERE they?
Me: I dunno, HUGE
Twin: you mean like plums or kiwis?
Me: Eeew, gross..I dunno more like granny smith apples,
Twin: WHAT? Ok, draw me a pciture (I was the artist of the family)
Me: I'M NOT GONNA DRAW YOU A PICTURE OF DAD'S BALLS!!
Twin: Why not, you draw cartoons of dad all the time.
Me: Yeah but that's sickatating!
Twin: Yeah but it'll be funny.
Me: OK.
So I drew him a charicature, like many charicatures I have drawn of my Eastern European immigrant father. Wearing his wife beater, trouser socks with sandals and his little adidas shorts with his bag hanging out...
later my Twin and many of our friends got to see first hand the gigantism of my father's balls, He would wear those same little shorts and lie on the couch with one leg up on the back of it exposing one of them in all its glory for anyone to see. And even though he was right in front of the coffee table, he'd call you in to hand him the remote that was on it......he wasn't a pervert or anything, he was just plain lazy and used to having his servant of a wife around to get it for him.
..a moment in time I had to share. I still have never seen balls that rival my pop's.
HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"..mmm....aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!"
-----------------------------------
Don't forget it if you are in the Toronto area to come out to Rue Morgue's screening of THE EYE on Jan 15th. Check out this flyer for details:
http://www.rue-morgue.com/html/content/images/events/eye.jpg
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
boxterjulep:
did you do any drawings with a wheelbarrow included?
yemyam:
I KICK ASS FOR THE LORD!!!!