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jovanka

Canada

Member Since 2002

Followers 294 Following 219

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Tuesday May 18, 2004

May 18, 2004
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Help Wanted:
Personal Bully and/or Henchman required.

Job Requirements/Qualifications: Undead and huge. Misunderstood Monsters encouraged to apply.

Location: Canada. Must be willing to relocate.

Duties/Resposibilites: Must be willing to work shifts cracking skulls, and pummeling people that piss me off. Should also be adept at strangulation, bifurcation, amputation, evisceration, mutilation, limb dissection, toxic evenomization, tracheostomy obstruction, deaths resulting from fear/fright induced by verbal assault (scaring someone to death), and show a proficiency with assault rifles, cross bows, power tools and bone saws.

Experience an asset but not mandatory.

Compensation: Salary is negotiable depending on experience.

There will be a performance evaluation.

Interested applicants should post their resume/cirriculum vitae here.
**NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE**

I wish to thank all candidates for their interest, however, only those selected for an interview will be contacted.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
illbillzillbub:
i've never been to Canada
May 23, 2004
fantomex:
Thanks for the compliment; I guess (controlled) breeding (under laboratory conditions) will out.

Y'know, I've probably walked past you and the RUE MORGUE booth more than once at various shows -- and not ONCE stopped to WORSHIP YOU LIKE THE GODDESS YOU ARE.

Forgive me, okay? I didn't know...

Several years back, I wrote a comic series for DC about a bunch of teenage monsters that formed a punk band; if you shoot me a mailing address, I'll send you copies.


May 25, 2004

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