I know this isn't my house. I know that I am nothing more than a guest, and because of this, I should act accordingly. I am not loud, especially after 8 when people have to go to sleep. I have no reign over anything... if I am watching television and someone comes in, they get control of the remote. I buy my own soda and...
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There's a dessert that goes by the name Dirt. Wheb I make it, I use a layer of chocolate cake, a layer of chocolate pudding, a layer of whipped cream and a layer of Skor chocolate bars. I tell all of you this because when I say "The Dukes of Hazzard movie was dirt", I want you to know I'm actually giving it quite the...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
alyk:
You've already started at UPS? I want the low down on your new job when you've got time, K? 
negative:
>I sure do get Saturdays off.
Cool, it's a cut and paste, but here is the invite I am sending people:
Hello all, if you have the time and the inclination, please consider joining us in a day of adventure at the Glacial Potholes of Shelburne Falls.
What are these "Potholes" you ask?
In Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts there is a dammed river, the bed of which consists of mammoth slabs of stone. During the ice ages, rocks ranging from pebbles to boulders were picked up by the ice and carried over the stone river bed. Through the forces of time, tide and pressure, these rocks were drilled into the underlying layer of stone, creating smooth and symmetrical holes of all sizes visible to all due to the dam holding back the river.
Add to that natural wonder a raging waterfall, craggy precipices to jump from, slippery moss to slip on and NO municipal supervision and what do you get? A Hell of a time, that's what!
But wait, there's more!
"What more could you add?" you ask? "How could this possibly get any better/more absurd?" you posit?
Well, the icing on this particular cake is the sign at the top of the dam. The sign that warns menacingly: "Sudden surge of water when horn sounds and light flashes, leave the area at once". You see, the billions of gallons of water are held back by little more than an aging system of planks and beams. I don't know if or when this happens, but if the aforementioned surge of water were to occur and one was recreating in the gulley at the bottom of the waterfall, one would be hard pressed to scramble back up to safety before being swept up by a rush of water rivaled only by that spot of bother Noah is said to have dealt with.
So you see, the whole deal is ludicrously dangerous!
I can't believe I dare to further pad this hyperbolic invitation, but if you are the rebellious type, you will be happy to know folks aren't actually allowed to enter the vicinity of the Potholes! The entire area was closed to the public a few years ago, but I have recently discovered that throngs of people still enjoy the deadly fun on a daily basis. The main point of access is locked, but enterprising thrill seekers (including little old ladies with beach chairs) simply walked around the corner and continued to partake of the inviting peril. (as thrill seekers are wont to do) If all of the above wasn't enough for you, the possibility of forced eviction by The Man also adds to the fun!
So if you feel up to it and you have Saturday, 8/20 free, please drop me a line. We will gather here at my house first, then convoy up to Shelburne Falls with bathing suits, coolers and sandwiches. Bring the Kids! Bring the pets! (please don't bring your pets)
See: http://www.shelburnefalls.com/attractpages/glacial.html
for more info.
Thank you
Cool, it's a cut and paste, but here is the invite I am sending people:
Hello all, if you have the time and the inclination, please consider joining us in a day of adventure at the Glacial Potholes of Shelburne Falls.
What are these "Potholes" you ask?
In Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts there is a dammed river, the bed of which consists of mammoth slabs of stone. During the ice ages, rocks ranging from pebbles to boulders were picked up by the ice and carried over the stone river bed. Through the forces of time, tide and pressure, these rocks were drilled into the underlying layer of stone, creating smooth and symmetrical holes of all sizes visible to all due to the dam holding back the river.
Add to that natural wonder a raging waterfall, craggy precipices to jump from, slippery moss to slip on and NO municipal supervision and what do you get? A Hell of a time, that's what!
But wait, there's more!
"What more could you add?" you ask? "How could this possibly get any better/more absurd?" you posit?
Well, the icing on this particular cake is the sign at the top of the dam. The sign that warns menacingly: "Sudden surge of water when horn sounds and light flashes, leave the area at once". You see, the billions of gallons of water are held back by little more than an aging system of planks and beams. I don't know if or when this happens, but if the aforementioned surge of water were to occur and one was recreating in the gulley at the bottom of the waterfall, one would be hard pressed to scramble back up to safety before being swept up by a rush of water rivaled only by that spot of bother Noah is said to have dealt with.
So you see, the whole deal is ludicrously dangerous!
I can't believe I dare to further pad this hyperbolic invitation, but if you are the rebellious type, you will be happy to know folks aren't actually allowed to enter the vicinity of the Potholes! The entire area was closed to the public a few years ago, but I have recently discovered that throngs of people still enjoy the deadly fun on a daily basis. The main point of access is locked, but enterprising thrill seekers (including little old ladies with beach chairs) simply walked around the corner and continued to partake of the inviting peril. (as thrill seekers are wont to do) If all of the above wasn't enough for you, the possibility of forced eviction by The Man also adds to the fun!
So if you feel up to it and you have Saturday, 8/20 free, please drop me a line. We will gather here at my house first, then convoy up to Shelburne Falls with bathing suits, coolers and sandwiches. Bring the Kids! Bring the pets! (please don't bring your pets)
See: http://www.shelburnefalls.com/attractpages/glacial.html
for more info.
Thank you
The greatest 30 minutes of television history ever, minus commercials, has got to be the lesbian edition of Room Raiders: South Florida. No ifs ands or buts about it. Seriously. Ever.
The worst 1 minute of television is the new Coke Zero commercial.
What pissed Josh off today: a commercial for "Must Love Dogs"... If that steaming pile gets produced, then any one of the...
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The worst 1 minute of television is the new Coke Zero commercial.
What pissed Josh off today: a commercial for "Must Love Dogs"... If that steaming pile gets produced, then any one of the...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
muse25:
I actually LOVE the gay men room raiders a little better.....
alyk:
Congrats on your job, lovey...We totally rule...
I can't really tell what the difference is between Coke Zero and Diet Coke, but I swear to christ Josh, if they ever stop producing it, I'm going on a shooting spree, because I have a serious addiction to it...
I can't really tell what the difference is between Coke Zero and Diet Coke, but I swear to christ Josh, if they ever stop producing it, I'm going on a shooting spree, because I have a serious addiction to it...
Q- What's the compliment to a 43 degree angle?
A- My you sure are "acute" angle.
That's it. It's way past my bedtime.
A- My you sure are "acute" angle.
That's it. It's way past my bedtime.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
xposingxpinupx:
you are such a smooth talker.
prockg:
Heehee. I forgot that joke.
And yes. The girl is you. It's all about you.
And yes. The girl is you. It's all about you.
For those that have been following the ear drama, I just want you to know that I can hear 100% out of my right ear again. I'll probably wait a day or so to make sure it isn't going to clog back up while I'm sleeping then switch my efforts to the left ear which is at about 50%, but has been for a while,...
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alyk:
Those duck tours are seriously embarassing, but you've got yourself a date, my friend...
negative:
I went on a Duck Tour in May when my Girl's family was in town. They are not allowed to make any noise on Newbury Street anymore - apparently the businesses complained.
If you guys make plans, let me know. Tours on the weekends sell out pretty quick.
Thank you
If you guys make plans, let me know. Tours on the weekends sell out pretty quick.
Thank you
Bars are stupid. I'm going back to being a hermit.
Stupid.
Stupid.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
alyk:
When I first read that, I thought it said "bears are stupid." I was on your side, too...
alyk:
That's really rad that you're not deaf...Oh, and you sir, are very rad yourself...
Shhh... don't tell anyone, but I'm at a bar... and I had a beer, but then I went to soda.
Cola before beer, I'm in the clear.
Beer before cola, The Kinks sang "Lola".
Cola before beer, I'm in the clear.
Beer before cola, The Kinks sang "Lola".
xposingxpinupx:
OOOOOOOOOOOOH I am soooooooooo telling 
Shhh... don't tell anyone, but I'm at a bar... and I had a beer, but then I went to soda.
Cola before beer, I'm in the clear.
Beer before cola, The Kinks sang "Lola".
Cola before beer, I'm in the clear.
Beer before cola, The Kinks sang "Lola".
Shhh... don't tell anyone, but I'm at a bar... and I had a beer, but then I went to soda.
Cola before beer, I'm in the clear.
Beer before cola, The Kinks sang "Lola".
Cola before beer, I'm in the clear.
Beer before cola, The Kinks sang "Lola".
Despite the fact that I have 5 dollars in my bank account, I seemed to pull 10 out of my ass to make it to the movies and lunch today. I must say, for only 3 bucks, Quiznos soup is pretty damn good and actually filling. Plus they have all the hot peppers you can eat. Then it was off to the movies. For a...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
prockg:
I hate that show Date your mom. Maybe because I am so incredibly different than my mom, the thought of anyone judging me based on her makes me cringe.
I love those skirts too.
Oh, and I sure hope you can do more with that mouth.
P.S. Did I ever ask you if your profile pic was inspired by Spamusement? I meant to.
I love those skirts too.
Oh, and I sure hope you can do more with that mouth.
P.S. Did I ever ask you if your profile pic was inspired by Spamusement? I meant to.
muse25:
its much easier to hear when you pull your head out of your butt......Im KIDDING...I couldnt think of any kind words to make you feel better...and then my dark side took over.....
forgive me....
forgive me....