First off, I just want to thank everyone again that welcomed me back. I love you people.

Now then, at the risk of sounding like a bitch i'm gonna bitch some.

*hack, hack, COUGH, COUGH, wheeze, HA-CHOO!!!*

*dies*

Yes, that's right, i'm sick. Sick as a fuckin' dog (whatever the hell that means).

I'm pretty sure that me and the little woman have contracted some sort of alien death flu.

When my nose isn't running like a fuckin' faucet it's as hard as granite. My whole body aches and my eyes feel like they've been sandpapered and then had gasoline poured in them.

All in all, not so much fun.

If I die i'd like for my porn collection to go to sarcasticmenace since I know she's as big a porn addict as I am. Everything else, the DVDs, the toys, the weapons, everyone please feel free to divide amongst yourselves.

*falls off of chair and into a medicine induced coma*