Tonight was my sons night for Boy Scouts. My wife and the other "Den Leader" decided to take the boys to the local bowling alley. My first reaction was the same as it always is, I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go because i've been an antisocial bastard for so long up until now I couldn't even enjoy going out with my kids.
But I did go, and i'm glad I did.
We bowled, and laughed, and played around, and I played about thirty or so classic rock songs on the Juke Box as I watched a bunch of kids without a care in the world dance their dorky little asses off.
I had fun. Real fun. It brought me joy and it brought me peace of mind and it was simple and easy and it was wonderful.
I say this because it reflects my mood, my outlook on life right now and I thought i'd share those feelings.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, most likely dark days and pain as it has ever been and ever will be but tomorrow will also bring joy, and love, and good times as well as all the bad things. That's life and i'm starting to understand that I think.
A good friend of mine on this site, MonsterJoe, talks to me quite often about inner demons, his and mine. I believe in demons, I have them, I have one that could kick Godzillas ass and i've been fighting those demons for nearly my whole life and it has never gotten me anywhere.
But, that being said I think i'm beginning to finally understand the nature of my demons, to understand them, and that makes them a lot less scary somehow.
I'm beginning to understand that I don't have to fight my demons and win, because you can't hope to defeat a demon, all you can do in the end is accept them.
But I did go, and i'm glad I did.
We bowled, and laughed, and played around, and I played about thirty or so classic rock songs on the Juke Box as I watched a bunch of kids without a care in the world dance their dorky little asses off.
I had fun. Real fun. It brought me joy and it brought me peace of mind and it was simple and easy and it was wonderful.
I say this because it reflects my mood, my outlook on life right now and I thought i'd share those feelings.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, most likely dark days and pain as it has ever been and ever will be but tomorrow will also bring joy, and love, and good times as well as all the bad things. That's life and i'm starting to understand that I think.
A good friend of mine on this site, MonsterJoe, talks to me quite often about inner demons, his and mine. I believe in demons, I have them, I have one that could kick Godzillas ass and i've been fighting those demons for nearly my whole life and it has never gotten me anywhere.
But, that being said I think i'm beginning to finally understand the nature of my demons, to understand them, and that makes them a lot less scary somehow.
I'm beginning to understand that I don't have to fight my demons and win, because you can't hope to defeat a demon, all you can do in the end is accept them.
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acidslug:
Back in Knoxville, I used to go through these antisocial periods that went along with moodiness/depression. Invariably, one of my friends would come along and *force* me to go out and do something. Never once did I feel *worse* for letting them drag me out.
acidslug:
Back in Knoxville, I used to go through these antisocial periods that went along with moodiness/depression. Invariably, one of my friends would come along and *force* me to go out and do something. Never once did I feel *worse* for letting them drag me out.