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joshof13thfloor

McMinnville,TN

Member Since 2003

Followers 100 Following 156

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Friday Apr 09, 2004

Apr 9, 2004
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I hate getting on here and bitching but i need to get this out of my head.

I was in a little grocery store earlier tonight out in the middle of nowhere when i noticed that the man in line in front of me looked just like my father.

I wanted to say something but i couldn't. I just couldn't. What would i have said, "Hey, you look just like my dead dad and i just thought you should know?"

My wife said i should have asked if we were related. It is possible, there are a lot of us around. But i couldn't, i don't know which i was more afraid of, if he had said yes or if he had said no.

He looked so much like him. I wanted to grab him and hug him and scream at him that i loved him and i miss him and that i never meant to do what i did and a million things more but i couldn't.

After i watched him leave and we headed home i thought to myself maybe i should just think of it as a part of my father out there still enjoying life but then i remembered him lying there in that steril little room with all those damned machines hooked up to him keeping him alive and i remember touching him and telling him goodbye.

God i don't even know what the point to all of this is, i just know i hurt so fucking bad right now.

He looked so much like him.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
squidproquo:
that was a really beautiful journal entry. what your wife suggested was a good idea, but i can't even imagine how awkward asking a stranger that question might have been. i hope you're feeling slightly less creeped out.



and thanks for the other pic of me, i forgot about that.
Apr 12, 2004
shmidol:
I'm sure saying hello when you are in Nashville will be just fine....as long as you aren't scurrrryyyyy like in your picture!! eeek wink

Yeah, what is up with people asking to be on your friends list then never making a comment...nothing. Why bother, ya know? Lurkers I guess. whatever

Hope all is well...happy belated Easter! biggrin
Apr 12, 2004

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