joshof13thfloor

I am a zombie.

Sleep apnea is like being stuck somewhere between life and death; never fully awake, never fully rested.

It affects my mind. My memory is faulty at best and i constantly find myself drawing a blank when trying to explain myself to those around me.

I want so badly to dig myself out of this hole that my life is in right now but i'm just to damn weary to get it done.

Everyone around me seems to be so concerned with my getting the help i need and my getting better but at the same time none of them seem to understand that my condition leaves me both mentally and physically exahausted at nearly all times.

I would all but kill the next person i see to get my mind back from this state it's in. I want to be able to move ahead with my plans for the comics. I can barely even carry on a decent coversation about my own stories and characters anymore. Most of the time i end up losing the words i'm looking for. I feel all to often like a total idiot because of this.

I'm so fucking tired right now.

So fucking tired, yet i can not sleep.