This morning finds me a very nervous fat man.
Today i go do one of my least favorite things in the world, i'm going to go see the doctor.
I hate going to the fucking doctor, man. I'm not really even sure why anymore, i just do. I mean i hate needles and all the regular junk that people feel but that's not it, i do more painful things to myself on a regular basis than i'll see today at the docs office.
I guess maybe i'm afraid of what he'll say. I'm afraid that i'm gonna go in there and he's going to say that i'm dieing or some shit. I know the news isn't going to be pleasent, i've done to much damage to myself over the years for it to be anything else.
All the drugs and alcohol and fighting and wrestling and the sleep apnia and now all the extra weight compounding everything. Fuck. I don't want to go, but if i don't i am seriously afraid what might happen to my health. Not to mention that everyone in my family is worried and expecting me to drop dead at any moment.
I've tried hard to get better on my own but nothings worked. I don't want to go to the doctor, but i guess i'm just going to have to suck it up and get it over with. God damn it all, i'm going to have to go and do that sleep study and all that shit. Fuck.
I hate doctors. I hate them. I fucking hate them. I have never seen a doctor that i like. Every doctor of every kind i've ever seen has always been a fucking quack (most especially the head shrinks) and i don't expect this one to be any different. Fuck.
Maybe i'll ditch, i don't know. Fuck it.
Some days your the windshield and other days your the bug. I can guess which one i'll be today.
Today i go do one of my least favorite things in the world, i'm going to go see the doctor.
I hate going to the fucking doctor, man. I'm not really even sure why anymore, i just do. I mean i hate needles and all the regular junk that people feel but that's not it, i do more painful things to myself on a regular basis than i'll see today at the docs office.
I guess maybe i'm afraid of what he'll say. I'm afraid that i'm gonna go in there and he's going to say that i'm dieing or some shit. I know the news isn't going to be pleasent, i've done to much damage to myself over the years for it to be anything else.
All the drugs and alcohol and fighting and wrestling and the sleep apnia and now all the extra weight compounding everything. Fuck. I don't want to go, but if i don't i am seriously afraid what might happen to my health. Not to mention that everyone in my family is worried and expecting me to drop dead at any moment.
I've tried hard to get better on my own but nothings worked. I don't want to go to the doctor, but i guess i'm just going to have to suck it up and get it over with. God damn it all, i'm going to have to go and do that sleep study and all that shit. Fuck.
I hate doctors. I hate them. I fucking hate them. I have never seen a doctor that i like. Every doctor of every kind i've ever seen has always been a fucking quack (most especially the head shrinks) and i don't expect this one to be any different. Fuck.
Maybe i'll ditch, i don't know. Fuck it.
Some days your the windshield and other days your the bug. I can guess which one i'll be today.
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But unfortnately they're kind of useful for all that "not dying" kind of thing. Unlike lawyers. Lawyers are true evil.
Keep yer chin up. You'll make it through.
Feeling better now. Guess some sleep and a good meal can help out with things. And I am still up in the air since today is a national holiday. I think I need some more of both and I will be better off. Hang in ther buddy.